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TMI Thursday: A boy, A phone and The Toilet

Thursday, November 19, 2009

This is my first time participating in the little movement LiLu started known as TMI Thursday. SO, if this isn't up to snuff, give me a break ok?
( the link isn't working with the button.  I don't know why.  I saved the TMI picture after fighting with blogger for like a gazillion years.  Those little fucking gnomes move my shit, screw up buttons and links.  Anygarden, you get the effin general idea that this is a TMI post, and give LiLu her props and shit!  Fuck!  Who knew this would be so difficult.)

You are asking yourself why does this poster have a toilet paper sticker in the corner right? Well, I will tell you why my friends.  It is relevant to this story, that's why.

This is my son Koopster.  The child never can find his cell phone.  NEVER.  Every time we go shopping, and he wants to go look at Pokemon cards, or Bakugan, or toys, etc., I ask do you have your phone?  Answer is always, "Oh, I forgot it." or "It needed to charge so I left it at home."

If you don't have your phone on you then you can't separate from the group.  That's the dealio.

So, imagine my surprise this week.  I am sitting on the couch, watching Tyler Florence on the Food Network. *swoon*  I had just picked the childrens up from school.   bbbbbbbrrrrrriinnnnng!   bbbbbbbbrrrrrrrriiinnnnnngg!
Me:  "Hello?"
Koop:  "Mom?"
Me: "Yes son.  This is my phone."
Koop: "Uh...could you bring me some toilet paper?"
Me: "Where are you?"
Koop: "On the toilet in my bathroom."
Me:  "Really?"
Koop: "No. I'm making this up.  YES! Really!"
Me:  "And you took your phone in there?"
Koop:  "Yep!"
Me:  "Guess that was a good thing huh?"
Koop:  "Yep!"
Me:  "I'm kinda proud right now."
Koop:  "Could you be proud after you bring me some toilet paper?"
Me:  "Does it stink in there?"
Koop:  "Yep!  You might wanna hold your breath when you open the door and just throw it."
Me:  "Did you at least turn on the fan?"
Koop:  "Yeah, but it's pretty bad."
Me:  " you have the Hershey sqirts?"
Koop:  "No, it's just a really big dump."
Me:  "That's nasty."
Koop:  "Mom?"
Me:  "Yeah?"
Koop:  "Can you please bring me the toilet paper?"
Me:  "Oh, yeah.  Sorry."

The child never has his phone when I need him to have it.  BUT, he definitely had it when he needed it!


Carol said...

LMAO!!! Very good first TMI!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

That is a FABULOUS story!! I love that he had his phone. Was probably texting his buds about the dump. Would that be called dexting??

Shell said...

How funny and gross at the same time. Hubs tried to call me from downstairs to see if I would bring him a beer while he and his brothers played Wii two floors down. Um, NO.

Ed Adams said...

It usually the other way around at my house.

The boys will use up all the paper in my bathroom, and then I'm yelling for them to bring me some since they used the last of it.

Daffy said...

Ahhh...I see Lee has worked her new word DEXTING into another comment! KUDDOS FRIEND!

...ain't it grand....the kids I mean...does his phone have a camera? Because you know he was taking shots of the boulders he dropped. All the cool kids do that...

Travis said...

I have done this with The Missus. I just shot her a message though.

This was great stuff! I was laughing through the whole conversation! HA!

Your son sounds like a mini smart ass version of me!

Holy shit, I was in Florida once.

Do you strip under the name "Giggles?"

Noelle said...


i'm reading that to my boys when they get home from school.


tell koop i love him.

ps...i got yer twilight hanging...over at my

Jessica said...

LMAO! I love it! Kids are so funny. Great TMI

The Blue Zoo said...

LMAO I laugh because I can so totally see this happening in my future!!

Lily said...


You crack me up, woman!

kys said...

That's why my kids aren't getting cell phones. They probably would have dropped them in the toilet anyway.

PS Tyler Florence is my tv boyfriend. Back off!

blueviolet said...

That is completely hilarious! I love that you dragged the conversation out so long! You're a good momma!

LiLu said...

I bring my Blackberry with me to read Twitter, but I'm going to start telling people this reason instead. It's far more practical.

Michelle said...

WOW! that was definitely TMI. LOL

carissajaded said...

ewwww hahahaha... but also kinda cute.

My roommates do the same to me all the time!

Mandi said...

He is so young yet he already is such a man. Of course that would be where he has the fun other than sex pooping at least for my hubby is the next important activity. VERY FUNNY! Thanks for your TMI Thursday.

Mandi said...

......Where he has the phone. I am a horrible typer!

Conquer The Monkey said...

that is a lot of information about your little dude, ayayay, seems you accomplished a wildly successful tmi thursday!

ClevelandPoet said...

haha awesome

I like to tell my wife when she yells for some TP "I can't hear ya text me!"

Alex said...

Awesome TMI! Seriously the kid is a genius (I have several myself)! That was an emergency. I had my daughter call me from her room (10 ft away) to tell me her battery was getting flat. WTF?

Dual Mom said...

Priceless! The funniest part being of course that you became so involved in the poop conversation that he had to remind you why he was calling. Way to go...

Secretia said...

That was very convenient, for him!

gayle said...

Funny!! Great kid calling you to bring toilet paper:)

Moooooog35 said...

If I didn't bring my phone in the bathroom, how would I take pictures of it?

A regular size camera is just way too clunky.

Perhaps I've said too much.

Erin said...

This makes me think of my husband, who often chats on the phone while pooping. GROSS. And I lecture him about it all the time, to no avail.

However, at least he's never called me to ask for toilet paper from the restroom.


Sharnanigans said...

How resourceful!! hahahaha
Rightly so he had it when he needed it.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

BAhahahaa! I will have to check out this TMI thing. Of course he had it on the toilet - boys take everything to the toilet because they are in there for HOURS.