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Memoir Monday: A New Rating System for Bar Flies

Monday, November 23, 2009

It's that time again.   My buddy Travis over at I like to Fish started this little thing we call Memoir Monday.  There aren't really many rules.  It just has to be a true story!

WARNING:  If you are easily offended, BIG DADDY CAIN aka The Hubs has guest posted (sort of) again.  DO NOT CONTINUE unless you are prepared.  (Linda this means you!)

I have a lack of inspiration this morning.  Serious lack of inspiration.  I spent the weekend cleaning before the holidays are upon us.  I will have a boat load of peeps in for Thanksgiving so I cleaned, and dusted, and cleaned, and dusted, and cleaned, and you get the idea.  So....uninspired today.

Therefore, Memoir Monday is the VERY recent past.  Like last Thursday night recent past.  The hubs aka BDC is such a peach.  He accompanied me to the premiere of The Twilight Saga:  New Moon.   He didn't bitch, or grumble, or ruin it for me!  What a sweetheart huh?  Yeah, just keep reading.

So we went to pick up the tickets from Carmike Cinemas, that I purchased several days prior via FANDANGO.  Fandango rocks!  Just so you know!  I walked in, handed the little attendant my confirmation print out, and presto!  New Moon tickets!  Easy peasy!  AND, I just want to give props, and a shout out to the staff at the Fleming Island Carmike Theaters!  THEY ROCKED!  They had chaos under control for real!  What would normally be like herding cats was well structured and the best organized midnight movie premiere I have attended!  And that is saying something.  I saw the long anticipated and waited for Star Wars Episode I at a midnight premiere and it was a nightmare!  So PROPS Ms. Janelle, and Mr. Matt, you two had your stuff together for real!

So after we picked up our tickets, we had a couple of hours to kill.  BDC wanted to go have a drink.  I said he was a sport about going with me, and that he didn't ruin it, I didn't say he was particularly happy about it.  So, since he was indulging me, I took him to MOJO BBQ cause it is right next to the theater and they have a nice bar.  We ordered some chili cheese fries and BDC had himself some liquid truth (151 and coke, neat).  If you don't recall what liquid truth does for BDC, please refresh your memory here.

We are chatting away and BDC notices a bottle of Knob Creek bourbon on the shelf.  The following is our convo:
BDC:  Do you know where the name Knob Creek came from?
Me:  No.  I am sure you are going to enlighten me though.
BDC:  Getting a blow job from an 'ol lady and her knees creeked when she was slobbin' the knob.
Me:  Nice!

He then comes up with what he refers to as Layers of Goodness, or a rating system for judging women who happen to be patronizing the establishment.  So brace yourselves.

Layers of Goodness:
I'd buy that for a dollar.
I'd rape that for 50 cents.
I'd finger that for a quarter.

I told him I wouldn't dry hump that with your dick.
so he then added: I'd dry hump that for a nickle.

So there you have it.  New Moon rocked.  Carmike Cinemas rocked.  And Big Daddy Cain gave you all a new rating system.  Happy Monday!

BTW - For those of you looking for Christmas gifts for FREE.  Go check out this Laptop Give-away!  My buddy David over at The Rest is Still Unwritten is giving away a laptop compliments of HP.



Shell said...


Our husbands would get along really well.

Jessica said...

hahahaha! "I'd buy that for a dollar" is one of the hubs favorite lines!

Ed Adams said...

He just went for the same reason all the other guys went with their ladies.......He knew he would get some afterwards.

Daffy said...

Must've been one high class joint. OR the beer there is good and know that's why beer was ugly people could have sex too....

Whoooha! A laptop giveaway??? I'm SO on it! (TWSS)

Conquer The Monkey said...

good luck w/ the visitors, it is hard to get inspired w/ so much going on this week!!!!!

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Nice system there. Sounds a bit like my husband - he's always threatening to buy "that" or do "that." Glad the movie was good - I hear it's better than Twilight, but I haven't read any of the books. I'm afraid I'd be too neglectful of Monsoon - I cannot stop if I get into a book.

Thanks for the laptop info - I'm there!

The Peach Tart said...

Sounds like a fabulous date night

Travis said...

We would get along fine. Fine I say.

Ed: I totally went to see the movie. Not because I'd get some after.

Yeah, yeah. I know.

I'm gay.

Alex said...

Ha ha ha, looks like we all needed a little liquid refreshment to get through New Moon! I can't even remember it!

Your hubs is a classic.

Carol said...

Don't you just love those date nights and romantic trash talking?
Liquid refreshments always bring out the best in us ;)


Where are the merry maids when we need them! I don't like cleaning...reminds me of Cinderella before she met Prince Charming with lots of helpers to clean castle!
Anyway, read your comments on other blog & they are always so are one hee-heelarious lady! Glad I stopped by!


Nancy Campbell said...

I think we need to hang out.

Noelle said...

gotta go read more about liquid truth...

Anonymous said...

LOL That sounds like something my husband would say!

prashant said...

We would get along fine

Work from home India

kys said...

I'm laughing at his rating system! I hope your Thanksgiving was worth all the cleaning. (Mine wasn't!)