I rose from slumber this morning. Got the boys off to school. Dressed, in appropriate work attire, and headed down to make my prompt arrival at said employment agency as instructed. OMG! Now, when I received the notification, I thought, really? They seriously want me to answer these questions? None of them are relevant to me, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, could have prepared me for this morning.
I waited for 50 minutes to see the employment counselor, then we filled out the required paperwork together. Question: Why are you having trouble finding employment? Answers available to check off: Unable to read (well if that's the reason, it's not like I can READ this to know to check that answer), Drug/Alcohol addiction, Child Care, Lack of training, Lack of education, No Transportation (um...I'm here aren't I?), Convicted Felon/Sex Offender (I'm not on any lists!), several others just as ridiculous, and then my favorite, Financial. Financial? You can't get employed because you have financial what? There was no option available that referenced THE ECONOMY EFFIN SUCKS.
My appointment was at 10:00 a.m., but the letter instructed me to arrive 10 minutes prior to appointment to get through registration. Not really sure why they don't just make the appointment time 9:50 a.m., but I won't be petty. So arrive, 9:45 a.m., cause I'm an overachiever like that. It's an employment agency for the state, affiliated with federal unemployment, it's purpose is to help you get another j-o-b. You would think, when you arrive that the others seeking employment would dress to impress. If that's what you thought, like me, you would so be mistaken. I should have taken pictures. Also, the letter stated that space was limited, and family members and children were not to accompany you.
OK - So other than the people who work for this office, I was THE ONLY person there who was dressed appropriately for going out in public, let alone for employment services. Shorts, jeans with holes, sweatpants, leggings, flip flops, dirty tennis shoes, one guy had on NO SHOES, tshirts, and one
The employment guy showed me how to register, on one of them there computer things, so that I can make sure my unemployment benefits are not cut off. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS FUCKING HOLY! I cannot believe that place was for real. I felt like at any moment Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out and yell "you just got Punk'd". Seriously, I kept laughing. The poor guy that was helping me kept telling me that this is place is a serious service and that many people needed it. I told him he must have the most thankless job ever.
I thanked him for helping me quickly so I could get outta the third ring of hell as fast as possible. He thanked me for being, well, me. He had spent over an hour with the person before me, and was running way behind thanks to his partner taking vacation this week and not telling the appointment desk. We took, about 5 minutes, including the time it took to fill out the aforementioned ridiculous questionnaire. The world is full of degenerates ya'll. And as my buddy Travis would say, That's REAL!