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Memoir Monday: The Finishing Move...wait what?

Monday, November 2, 2009

It's Monday again, and my buddy Travis at I love to fish has instituted this little thing we like to call Memoir Monday.


When you have children, sexy time can be stolen moments here and there, or scheduled date night, nightcaps.  Sometimes though scheduling those times kills the spontaneous nature of what should just happen when the mood strikes.  You know, when your lover looks at you just the right way, and you just want to jump up and run to the room and strip down to your nothings and show him how much you appreciate that he still looks at you that way.

The hubs and I still have date nights, and we think they are important.  Time alone to just talk to each other without constant interruption and to talk about things that don't include Cartoon Network, teachers, school or drama.  It's time to recharge the adult love batteries.  (And I am not talking about toys people get your minds out of the gutter!)

However, sometimes we still have those moments where we can't get enough of one another and it's the middle of the afternoon, the kids are up, and we will surreptitiously slink off to the bedroom.  This past week, we seized one of those opportunities.  Kids were busy doing homework and we furtively left the front room to find cover, under covers.  After 20 minutes or so, our absence was noted, and there came a rapping at the bedroom door.  The hubs yells through the door, "We'll be out in just a minute!"  We then hear Kamden announce to his siblings "They're having the sex with each other in there!"  I literally rolled off the bed laughing as tears streamed down my face.  The hubs laughed until his sides hurt.

Once we regained our composure, we dressed and joined the family in the front room.  None of the children acknowledged that Kamden had just made that ostentatious announcement.  Later, when the hubs and I chuckled about  the earlier comedy stylings of one Kamden, we started talking about the last time one of the kids had came a knockin' at the most inopportune of times. 

One night after the munchkins were tucked away, safe and sound in their beds, we were up late enjoying some adult time.  In the throws of passion, and while my hubs was making his way to the finishing move, he was interrupted by a little hand right upon his buttocks.  Wait what?  WTF?  I saw fear and panic cross a face that had just been full of rapture.  I look around the hubs shoulder, and there is my little Kooper.  OH MY!  The hubs was frozen.  I tried to speak, but nothing was coming out as my lips parted.  Then Kooper spoke, not to me, but to the hubs.  And this is classic "Daddy, why are you squishing Mommy?"  The hubs was unable to move for what seemed like an hour, but was surely just seconds.  He carefully rolled under the sheet as I pulled it up over myself and sat up to answer our sweet little cherub.

Me: "Daddy and I are just playing grown-up."
Koop:  "Was Daddy hurting you Mommy?"
Me: "No baby, I'm fine."
Koop: "Why were you guys squishing each other?"
Me: OMG!  This kid is killing me.  "C'mon sweetie, let's get you back in bed."
Hubs:  "G'Night Koop!"
Koop: "Night Daddy, don't hurt my Mommy no more!"

Once  I got our little prince back to bed, the hubs and I laughed until our sides hurt.  AND, the hubs, he hasn't forgotten to lock the door since!

Every once in awhile the hubs will look at me and say "Hey babe, wanna squish?"


Tater Tot Mom said...

We've called down, "Just a minute!" a few times ourselves. That's the best when you can just sneak it in.

That's an absolultely hilarious story! We haven't had that happen yet....God I hope we don't forget to lock the door!

Alex said...

Ha ha ha, so true. Our 2 year old has a radar so that whenever the husband even looks at me with love in his eye she runs out and yells No Daddy!

The Peach Tart said...

I was laughing so hard my sides were hurting. "Daddy why are squishing Mommy" - that's classic.

Travis said...

This is absolutely hilarious! Did we have to get the poor child some therapy?

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

LMAO! That is so damn funny!!!

Lily said...

haha, and I thought I had it rough when Milo bursts into the room and tries to "get in on the action"!

That's hysterical!
Poor kid...

LiLu said...

I always assumed that HAD to happen a few times once you have munchkins... curiosity, and all... ;-)

Noelle said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning! :)

Moooooog35 said...

I'm still in awe at the '..after twenty minutes..'


Christ...I'd be done ten times over.

I'm awesome.

Alicia said...

hahaaa!! oh my word i know what you mean sister. the kids have yet to witness anything... but i swear i get stage fright if i know the kids are awake...jordan knows to lock the door and turn the baby monitor off...but one time he did forget to lock up the dogs...that was pleasant. ha!

Conquer The Monkey said...

so funny! they are doing the sex! HILARIUOS!!!

Erin M. said...

The squishing. OMG! SOOOOO funny. Love the child's perspective on this. I will definitely be locking our doors as the kids get a little older, though!

kys said...

That is hilarious!! Thanks for the laugh. And the reminder to lock the bedroom door.

adrienzgirl said...

All, as always I am here for your amusement and "You're welcome for the Public Service Announcement for locking your bedroom doors!"

@Moog - Yeah 20 mins, cause I am awesome like that!

@Lily, I have one about the dog too. Bent over nekkid and he bit my nipple! Yeah, they get kenneled at night now!

Daffy said...

Good to see you're still managing to blog about your sexy times :O)

My hubs would TOTALLY have been scarred for ever. The kid would have any clue but we'd probably never do it again if that happened to us. Hubs is a little particular that way :O)

Mocha Dad said...

My wife and I always lock the door. ALWAYS!