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Silly Sunday - BB Chat Friends

Sunday, January 31, 2010

I thought I would participate in Silly Sundays sponsored by my good friend Stephanie over at The Blue Zoo.  I was thinking what's more silly than my group of bb chat buddies.  We are just a big bunch of goofballs.  I love them all and they have been my rock this week while I was dealing with a bunch of personal stuff.  So I thought I would give them a great big hug and kiss, Silly Sunday style!

So here is my tribute to my friends, cause I love them.

 
Steph is first cause this is her Meme!  She is funny. If you don't follow you are missing out.  She's so hot she gets followed by strangers in Wal-Mart.  Go check out The Blue Zoo.  With a house full of BOYS BOYS BOYS, she could use the support!

 
Next is our fearless administrator.  TravyG of I like to Fish.  We're all his harem?  That's what he calls us.  WTF?  That's supposed to be offensive right?  Whatever, we love him.  Go visit if you don't follow.  He will make you laugh til you cry!



My good friend Alicia is hilarious.  Seriously, even the name of her blog is funny, it ain't easy being cheesy.  She is obsessed with staches and she loves her some Chuck Norris.  If you like to laugh and you don't follow her, you are seriously missing out!



Everyone knows how much I love Cheesecake (moniker provided by Ed @ Ed's Funny Pages) over at Mad Boastings of a Cheesecake Mom.  She is on her way back to us folks!  She was moving across the country, but she's in the home stretch now!  Yeah!  Oh yeah, she makes fabulous ONE OF A KIND, never to be duplicated buttons!  If you need one, GO SEE HER!



What can I say about the Great Duckalicious that hasn't already been written on the bathroom wall?  Hehe...kidding.  You all know she is my BFF.  If you don't follow her, you are missing some of the funniest SASS on the web.  NO JOKE!  You can find Miss Daffy over at BATCRAP CRAZY.



Dreamweaver is That One Mom over at Chronicles of an Only Parent.  I tend to give everyone nicknames unless someone has beat me to it. (see Cheesecake above).  She is a lil Rockabilly at heart and she is going to marry and divorce every hot man in Hollywood.  I just love the eye candy she posts as part of her Future Ex series.



Junebug is just flat out funny.  She can rant with the best of them.  And seriously, that is saying something.  You can meet June and TightWard over at 3! a Charm.  If you like political humor(Obama bashing) don't miss Fridays(I skip those mostly. But shhhh! Don't tell her!)

   
Last but certainly not least is Lee over at Headaches, Hormones and Hotflashes.
She is funny.  She is snarky.  She is Jewish.  She is Ninja. What are you waiting for?  Go see her!

Well, that is it.  Just me being Silly on a Sunday Afternoon.  But I needed to tell my buddies that I love and appreciate them.  Don't forget to tell someone you love today THANKS for BEING THERE for ME!
 
 

Friday Follies and Fun Facts: MythBusting Fallacies

Friday, January 29, 2010

It's Friday Smackers!  I know you all look forward to the useless bits of information I pass along on Fridays.  Several have asked me where all the information comes from so I thought I would share.  I read.  A LOT.  I retain about 85-90% of what I read.  If the info is interesting more times than not I can recite it word for word.  If it's eh...mediocre, not so much.  Many of the books I read, I could put down, for weeks, months or  even years.  When I decide to pick it back up, I can tell you the page I left off and pick right where I left off.....

I have had many people insist that they would love to have a photographic memory.  Trust me, it's not as cool as you might think.  While sometimes it can be convenient to have the ability to recall insidious yet often extraneous bits of information, with the good always comes the bad.  For every light there is dark.  When you turn the lights out to go to sleep, and desultory information starts flashing, in fast forward?  There is. no. off. switch.  So yeah, occasionally useful, but mostly unsought.

In addition, when I have a theme idea for Friday I will do a bit of research, from books, internet search, etc...

Anyfactoid, let's get started.  In the words of one of my favorite authors Mark Twain:
~A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes~

We often assume that information is true simply because it has been stated repeatedly.  Passed down from generation to generation.  However many of those tidbits are misconceptions and just plain falsehoods.


Ducks are never male. The males of the species are called drakes.

Chastity belts were not originally imposed to keep people from having sex. They were intended to keep youngsters, of both sexes, from masturbating.

Ninjas, historically, didn't wear black. For nighttime operations, they wore dark blues, dark grays, and browns.

Bats are not blind. Most bat species do use echo location to augment their vision, however,  all bats have eyes and are capable of sight.

Already that's it for the trivia today.  I have had a bunch of requests for more Movie Trivia, therefore, next Friday's FFF will be Movie Quote Trivia.  I will post the answers on Saturday.

Happy Friday!  As always, I leave ya with LOVE!

Don't Talk to Strangers

Thursday, January 28, 2010

When you are married with four kids running around you have to take what you can when it comes to stolen moments and alone time.  BDC and I often take off to the grocery store together and leave Kenna in charge of the boys.  It's not romantic, but hey,  there is plenty of time alone in the car before running into the crazies at the store.

Earlier this week hubs and I ventured out to pick up a few things.  Why is it that every time I say I just need a few things I end up spending $200?  I digress...

Anyshop, we have a special relationship.  We banter back and forth like two little kids.  We were having a tit for tat insult trading session over some nice apples and oranges whilst feeling up some nice pears.  I can't remember the particular trade of witicisms because of what happened next.

Hubs said something particularly funny and I was giggling.  Out of nowhere this lady comes up and puts her hand on my arm.  Screech!  *ding ding ding*  My personal space has just been invaded.  She smiles and says, "You two are so cute together.  I love the way you look at each other."

Hubs looks at me and then her and half smiles while spitting out an "Um...thanks?"

Crazy Touchy Feely Lady:  "You're newly weds huh?  How long have you been married?"

Me and hubs bust out laughing.

Me:  "We have been married for 8 and together for several more than that."

Crazy Touchy Feely Lady:  "What's your secret?  You two still look at each other like it's new."

Hubs deadpan:  "Hookers."

We all laughed.  I told her we liked each other and that we always make each other laugh.  She walked on and finally moved her hand off my arm.

Hubs was like "how do you know her?"

Me:  "I don't."

Hubs:  "Guess I should've held off on the hooker comment huh?"

Me:  "Naw...it was funny."

Hubs:  "Well...it was that or tell her we were brother and sister."

Thank You, Jimmy Fallon

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

WARNING:  FOUL LANGUAGE CONTAINED WITHIN THE TEXT OF THIS MESSAGE.

Let's clear a few things up shall we?  Everyone of MY LIP SMACKERS knows that I don't sleep, and I love LATE NIGHT TELEVISION.




(for those of you at work...this is JIMMY FALLON writing THANK YOU NOTES on his LATE NIGHT SHOW)

I get my inspiration from professionals.  NOT OTHER FUCKING BLOGGERS.  Got it?  Ok. Good!

So there you have it folks....I started a blog carnival MeMe whateverthefuckyouwannacallit for Tuesdays, and I lifted it FIVE FUCKING FINGER style from Jimmy Fallon.

SO....next Tuesday, we will be doing some more NOTES.  My way.  The Jimmy Fallon way.  The FUCKYOUVERYMUCH way.

SPECIAL PREMIER

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Think Tank Momma








LIP SMACKERS!
THINK TANK MOMMA PROUDLY PRESENTS
THANK YOU NOTE TUESDAY

So here is the game.  You know those people who you come across every. single. day. that just rub. you. raw.  Those things that just need, more than a casual "Excuse Moi?"  Sometimes you need to just go that extra mile to say "Fuckyouverymuch" "Thanks so Much!"  Being the loving, caring bunch that we all are, I know that you all will do the right thing and write out your weekly Thank You Notes, Think Tank Momma style.

Here is an example.  By now you all know how happy I am with the crack team of wizards running NBC.  Here is a Thank You Note to them.

Dear NBC,
I am so thankful that you are replacing the best show host of The Tonight Show ever, Conan O'Brien.  

Now I can go to bed without worrying I will miss something.
Not bitter at all,
Sleepy Think Tank Momma


So you get the idea now right?  Grab the button.  Join the fun.  And let the THANK YOUs BEGIN!


Dear Evil Bitch Scale,
Thank you for motivating me, one day at a time.
At least you have the decency to be going down!
2.3 this week.  That is a total of 14.4 lbs.
Thanks for talkin' Smack!
LIB Momma

Dear Moron Bill Collector,
Thank you for repeatedly calling my 10yr old's cell,
after being asked to remove the number from your list.
Jessica WhatevertheHell, doesn't pay her bills but, I
have plenty of minutes to burn.
Thanks so Much!
Bill Payer  
P.S. I needed to up my minute plan, you motivated me to get it done.


Dear 112yr old Traffic Director at Parent Pickup,
I know that we all do the same drill everyday to get the
kiddos, but I am so thankful that you are there to show
us how to do it right.  I am sure that we would never
remember without your exaggerated hand gestures and
constant shrills of "No, No, No" and "Go, go, go!"
Thanks for keeping it moving!
Parent PickUp Mommy

Dear Daughter,
Thank you for coming home from work on Saturday
and announcing that you thought of me when you
passed Krispy Kreme.  Thanks for then telling me how
you were going to stop and bring me home some donuts.
But then you remembered LIB!  It wasn't evil at all that
you taunted me that way.
You're the Best!  Love, Mom

Alright Smackers....grab the button, add your link in the little Mr. Linky thing below and bust out your SPECIAL appreciations for those who deserve them most!

Memoir Monday: Get your Licks in When You Can

Monday, January 25, 2010



Photobucket
It's Memoir Monday again.  My good buddy TravyG over at I like to Fish hosts this, and according to him the only requirement for our Memoir is that it be true.  So get your butt out of the corner, reach deep into those memory recesses like Little Jack Horner, and pull out a plum(memory).

When I was little, my Dad used to rough house with all of us.  I have two younger sisters and a younger brother.  I am almost nine years older than my brother, 4 years older than my baby sister and 19 months older than my other sister.  My Dad wrestled with all of us girls like we were a house full of boys.

He had a ritual down that would almost inevitably get us to cry "I Give." aka as "uncle".  He would push your hair off your forehead and spat it, repeatedly.  He would grab a handful of hair and pull up, not hard, just enough, and then ask you if you liked your hair raising experience.  He would tickle us until we laughed so hard it hurt.  He had a claw hand he made and would grab your sides and call them horsey nibbles.  But the one that no matter what else you had endured, would always make you say "I give!" was his infamous eyeball lick.  WHAT?  I know you are thinking WTF?

That's right.  My Dad would lick our eyeballs.  Well, you know not literally the eyeball itself, but full open mouth tongue run across your eyes, which makes you close them really tightly.  But, regardless, it was disgusting.  It's still disgusting. 

I have had the pleasure of repaying my good ol' Dad for that little treasure though.  I have three boys.  I have shared the experiences of my youth with them.  Shared the essence of GrandDad if you will.  I taught them well.  However, after years of abuse experience, I knew in order to put those skills to good use, against he who had gotten me so many times, I had to teach my boys stealth.  Why?  We tested it out on our own Daddy.  In order to get the hubs, you gotta be good.

So, to get them both, my hubs and my dad, I have taught my sweet affectionate little boys to pretend to want to give hugs and kisses.  They have to get them both when they(Daddy and GrandDad) least expect it.  They just have to bust it out when they can.  Cause in a war, we (me and the boys) always lose.  So now, we plot.  We are stealthy.  We look at those big men all sweet and innocent.  We go in for a kiss, and then swipe that tongue right across their eyeballs.

First and only rule in "I Give" Wars.  You gotta get your licks in when you can!

Q&A with my Better Half?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

***WARNING***  Big Daddy Cain interview.  If you know me personally.  You should stop reading NOW. (Linda this means you.)

I know that several of you are new, and I am sure you missed the first guest post with the hubs.  He refers to himself as Big Daddy Cain (hence the BDC).  Please go read it first so you understand his...um..err...humor.  We will wait for you. *insert Jeopardy music here*

Another night of truth serum(aka Bacardi 151and Diet Coke) gives us the following Question and Answer session.  Just so everyone is clear on how this works.  I ask questions, he answers.  I transcribe his exact words...no editing, no censoring.  RAW, and UNCUT.  I give you...my life.

Me:  Big Daddy Cain, what do you think of the Lose It Bitches! Challenge? 
BDC:  I think it is great, except my wife has no ass or boobs anymore.
Me:  Um....there is still plenty left.
BDC:  I married a woman with jugs and ass and I'm not sure how I feel about them going away.  It's like my girlfriend left me.
Me:  Just so you know, I was 100 lbs. lighter when we got together.

Me:  Your children made honor roll again.  Are you proud of them?
BDC:  I am really proud of my kids.  They seem to be a lot smarter than their old man.
Me:  They got it from their Momma.
BDC:  Obviously. *eye roll*

Me:  You mentioned that you will be starting a blog support group for men with wives who blog.  You even got your son to support you in your efforts.  Care to speak to that?
BDC:  *hysterical laughter*  I am working on ideas for my blog, however, the lack of support from my blogging wife is hindering my creative efforts.
Me:  I have my own blogs to come up with creative material for.
BDC:  I work 24 hours a day.  That doesn't help.
Me:  You seem to have no problem stretching the truth.
BDC:  Excuse me?
Me:  Did I stutter?
BDC:  Explain to me exactly how I am stretching the truth please?
Me:  You work 24 hours a day?
BDC:  Well, if I am not at work I am asleep, so it might as well be 24 hours a day.
Me:  Well, I don't even sleep.  What do you think about that?
BDC:  They make pills for that.

Me:  So you have a new found love for Lady Gaga huh?
BDC:  Lady Gaga needs to sit on my face and spin.  And I love her music too.
Me: *shaking head*

Me:  You have anything else you would like to comment on?
BDC:  I think Conan O'Brien is the one and only host for The Tonight Show.  Jay Leno can bite my ass.
Me:  I thought you liked Leno?
BDC:  I liked Leno until I found out he was an asshat.  Now he can bite me.
Me:  Asshat...nice word bubs.
BDC:  I stoleded that from you.  My words are not appropriate.
Me:  Like what words?
BDC:  Well, my words would have been, if you don't like that you can suck a dick.  Or kiss my ass.  Or go fuck yourself.  Or go eat a dog turd.  Or a cat turd. Or pretty much any kind of turd.  Or my personal favorite, go shit in your own mouth.
Me:  Sorry I asked.
BDC:  giggles quite pleased with himself.

BDC:  I crack myself up, and you can write that.  Nobody is funnier than a man and his own mind.
Me:  I'm pretty funny.
BDC:  You're pretty funny?
Me:  Yes...me.  I am funny.
BDC:  Well, you're funny in a girly kind of way, but I am fucking hysterical.
Me: *reads his statement back to him in question form*
BDC:  Uh..Yeah!
Me:  So, you don't think I am funny huh?
BDC:  I didn't say that.  I said you are funny in a girly way.  I don't expect you to understand that.
Me:  Oh please...explain away.
BDC:  *giggling* Women have their own sense of humor.  They don't understand poop, pee, fart, burp and all the things that are really humorous in life.
Me:  You have met me right?
BDC:  You don't  find the stink of another's fart humorous.  Even though I get pissed off at the boys, I understand the humor of their stench.
Me:  So, if I were to say...savor the flavor....that would make me funny, not just girly funny?
BDC:  That would make you funny, but that's my line.  I'm pretty sure I should have that copyrighted.
Me:  You stole asshat, just 5 minutes ago.
BDC:  I borrowed asshat.  BTW - I learned that word from a t.v. show about a woman sitting on men's heads and calling it asshat.

BDC:  What? Ask me some more questions.
Me:  Well, I think we have pretty much alienated all my readers.  And we covered, that I am not funny.  So, I think we are done here.
BDC:  *looks at me bleary eyed*  I love you?

Well, there you have it folks.  Another Q&A with my very own Prince Charming.  Ain't I a lucky gal?

Please, please....leave questions for Mr. Funny Man in the comments.  He will be more than happy to answer anything you throw at me.

Post-It Note Tuesday - Heroes and Idols

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

It's Tuesday, which means only one thing. Lots and lots of Post-It Notes all over Blogland.
Thanks to the ultra fabulous SupahMommy.
So join the FUN!
Grab the button.
Head over to this site and make your own post-its and get to postin'!
Then go to SupahMommy site and do the Mr. Linky thing so people can come and see yours too!
Yes, this is a show me yours and I'll show you mine, or whatevs...I suppose you pervy types can just be voyeuristic and look on from the corners if ya like.


Alright ya'll, I may have a problem.  You know how LiLu posts all the obnoxious pussy cat videos?
I am now obsessed with Post-It videos.
This is for my bestie Duckalicious.
(Note:  It's not as cool as the last one, but it is still worth watching!)





So here we go!  Stick 'em if you got 'em!
 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
10 years old and walking the 6 miles with me everyday!  HERO for sho'!
 Please visit Ben Stiller's site and pledge if you can.  Seriously folks, $0.50, that's fifty cents, can provide drinking water for a family for a month.  Every little bit we do makes such a huge difference.  Ben truly is a hero.

As always, Love!  Mwah!

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses.....

Monday, January 18, 2010


My followers ROCK!  Thanks for showing up everyday to read my drivel.  Thanks for all the bloggy awards.  Thanks for the encouragement on my weight loss.

I have been a slacker!  Seriously.  Last week was rough.  I didn't visit.  I barely commented.  BUT, I was sick in bed most of the week.  Bronchitis was kicking me squarely in the butt lungs.  Which, BTW, did a big nothing for my exercising!  Ever try to walk six miles while hacking up a lung?  Not fun my friends!  Not fun!

So here is my promise to all of you.  I will be back to following.  Back to commenting.  Back to sharing the snarcasms this week!  Right after the kids go back to school tomorrow!!

Oh, and I did read most everything that was posted, just read it via Google reader!   Gotta keep up with you all ya know?

If you have fun fact topics you would like to see on Fridays, leave them in the comments.  Perhaps you all can stump me?  I think that is a Challenge my friends! 

Keep it real!  See you all this week!

Friday's Follies and Fun Facts - Cheers Style

Friday, January 15, 2010

Lip Smackers!  It's Friday!  The weekend is upon us.  All my new followers, here on Friday's I impart knowledge.  Useless facts.  Ridiculous information that is only useful for party tricks.


  • Alcohol consumption decreases during the time of the full moon.
  • Drinking lowers rather than raises the body temperature. There is an illusion of increased heat because alcohol causes the capillaries to dilate and fill with more warm blood.
  • "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" is commonly believed to be the only English sentence devised to include all the letters of the alphabet. However, typesetters have another such sentence: "Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs."
  • In old England, a whistle was baked into the rim or handle of ceramic cups used by pub patrons. When they wanted a refill, they used the whistle to get service. So when people went drinking, they would "wet their whistle."
  • In ancient Babylon, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead (fermented honey beverage) he could drink for a month after the wedding. Because their calendar was lunar or moon-based, this period of free mead was called the "honey month," or what we now call the "honeymoon."
  • Methyphobia is fear of alcohol.
  • In the 1600's thermometers were filled with brandy instead of mercury.
  • The shallow champagne glass originated with Marie Antoinette. It was first formed from wax molds made of her breasts.
  • Desi Arnaz's grandfather was one of the founders of the largest rum distillery in the world.
  • The Manhattan cocktail (whiskey and sweet vermouth) was invented by Winston Churchill's mother.
  • Tom Arnold, Sandra Bullock, Chevy Chase, Bill Cosby, Kris Kristofferson, and Bruce Willis are all former bartenders
  • The U.S. Marines’ first recruiting station was in a bar.
  So, there you have it.  Happy Weekend!  Cheers!

Love!

TMI Thursday - The Curious Case of Green Smoke

Thursday, January 14, 2010

You know what time it is, that special day of the week when half the blogosphere shares way too much information with the rest of the blogosphere about shit, snot, sex and other unmentionables. So, grab the button and run over to link up with the always over the top and fabulous LiLu.

TMI Thursday


When my middle son Kooper was a baby he had the strangest bowel movements.  Seriously.  They were always clean and little rabbit pellet type droppings.  There was never any need for more than one wet wipe, and that one always came out clean.

One night after a long day at my parents, the hubs, Kooper and I were headed home.  At the time we lived about 35 minutes from my parents house.  We made a quick trip to Wal-Mart.  I put the bags in the trunk, and hopped in the car to turn on the heat as it was cold outside, while the hubs buckled Kooper in his car seat.  I silently let one rip.  Uh-Oh!  I knew immediately that it was going to be bad, it had that burn.  Yet, there is nothing I can do at this point.  It had already escaped the clothing and was not to be trapped in the seat.  It quickly started to permeate the car.  The hubs jumps in the front seat and puts his seat belt on and I back out and start moving about the time it hit our nostrils.

Hubs:  "OMG...what the hell is that smell?"
Me:  "Ecccckkkk!  Oh my...gag....was that you?"
Hubs:  "No...God, is that coming in from outside?"
Me:  gagging...."No I don't think so..."
Both of us roll down the windows.
Hubs:  "Kooper must be sick.  We are going to have to ride with the windows down the whole way home."
Me:  "Should we pull over and change him?"
Hubs:  "Naw...it's too cold.  Just keep the windows down so we can circulate air."

We arrive home.  Hubs grabs the kiddo and I gather the bags.  Once we get upstairs the hubs takes the kiddo to immediately change his diaper.  He comes out of Koop's room with a puzzled look on his face.

Me:  "Was it that bad?  Diarrhea?"
Hubs:  "No."
Pause.


Hubs:  "He was clean."
Me:  "Oh...the pellets again."
Hubs:  "No...he wasn't even wet.  No poop, no pee, no nothing."
Me:  "No way."
Hubs:  "Serious.  He must have some wicked stomach cramps.  Maybe you should give him something.  That was the worst gas I have ever smelled.  EVER.  I thought I was going to find something DEAD in there."
Me:  "Sure thing.  I will give him some of the pink stuff."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>FAST FORWARD>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Five years or so later.  We are all sitting at the table playing cards and the hubs has cleared the room already several times due to sharing the essence of chili cheese fries with those playing cards.  He begins to retell the tale of the green smoke that filled the car compliments of one toddler named Kooper.  I start to laugh.  I can't help it.  He has told this story a gazillion times, but this time, it just struck me and I lost it.  I am laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face.  I replay the scene from Liar Liar, with Jim Carrey in my head where he gets out of the elevator and turns around and says "It was me."  I am laughing uncontrollably at this point.  Red face, tears, can't catch my breath, gasping for air, abs screaming in pain for the madness to stop...I look bleary eyed across the table at the hubs.  His face turns white, his eyes widen and his jaw drops.

I squeal out..."It was me............................"

WTF Wednesday - Conan The Classy Barbarion and American Sob Story

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Oh, my lovely Lip Smackers.  Think Tank Momma is disgusted with her favorite thing this week.  I love television as most of you know.  Those of you who are new should know, I LURVE my DVR, and I love t.v.  Another thing you newbies may not know, I don't sleep.  Seriously, insomniac doesn't even cover it.  So, what's a girl to do when she doesn't sleep you ask?  I mean, besides the obvious blogging and surfing the internet.  Well, we need some background noise.  And what might you ask is my noise of choice?  Duh!  TELEVISION!

I watch Late Night TV.  I watch the news, and then The Tonight Show, and then Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and then I even watch the Carson Daly whatever show(the new format, not that shit that was called a show when he first started).

So this is WTF? Wednesday, and seriously WTF?  NBC - you douchcanoes!  Seriously?  You are going to give Leno another show over Conan?  Did he not stay with you and do what you asked him to?  Did he not fill his obligations?  Did he not pass over lucrative offer after offer to get the job he deserves and dreamed of since he was a kid?  Oh, right he did!  BECAUSE NBC you promised him the J-O-B.  So you build a great big beautiful new set.  You move Conan out to L.A.  You spend like a gazillion hours promoting The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, and then you what?  Pull the plug?  Did you seriously believe that moving The Tonight Show to THE NEXT DAY would be acceptable?  Really?

Oh and you site ratings as the reason?  Um....pretty sure some of those notsosmart suit types you have running the place anticipated that the blue hairs who love Leno were going to need to get used to the younger hipper feel of the comedic stylings of one Conan O'Brien.  Your sponsors and affiliates are pissed that JAY LENO isn't carrying the audiences into the news hour.  Guess what?  That is a FAIL on your part.  Nice one, The Leno Show will cost less money than dramatic programming.  Yep.  That was a brilliant move.  WTF?  You all didn't anticipate the ratings drops?  You thought the affiliates wouldn't notice?  It's comedy(sort of), not fucking magic.

NBC - Take a page from Conan's book and do the classy thing.  Leave Conan's show alone.  Let Leno retire, or go to another network, or whatever.  It's a new dawn, it's a new day, and Conan makes me feel GOOD!

American Idol - WTF?  Why do we have to hear sob story after sob story?  Why?  Why?  Why?  Really, just show the auditions.  I realize I bitched when you showed nothing but talentless attention whores who were looking for 5 minutes of FOX fame, which is not to be confused with 15 minutes of real fame.  But, seriously?  I think I would rather endure three weeks of that over the poor Sally's sick Granny this, and John's near death that, and I only have one leg and live in a box but have the pipes of an angel, blah, blah, blah.  OH, and if SIMON LEAVES?  We are through.  Just sayin'.

Well my lovelies...I could continue, but I won't subject you to anymore ranting today.  I appreciate all the well wishes.  I am on the mend, I hope!

Post-It Note Tuesday: Best Video Evah

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

It's Tuesday, which means only one thing. Lots and lots of Post-It Notes all over Blogland.
Thanks to the ultra fabulous SupahMommy.
So join the FUN!
Grab the button.
Head over to this site and make your own post-its and get to postin'!
Then go to SupahMommy site and do the Mr. Linky thing so people can come and see yours too!
Yes, this is a show me yours and I'll show you mine, or whatevs...I suppose you pervy types can just be voyeuristic and look on from the corners if ya like.



First, in honor of all things sticky, this is possibly THE coolest video EVAH!  EVAH EVAH!
Really what's more awesome than sticky notes?  Choreographed sticky notes!  That's what.
Just watch!




So, now, back to bidness.  Stick 'em, if you got 'em!

 
 
 
 
 




Well, short and sweet this week people.  Think Tank Momma regrets to inform you that her snarcasms and wit may be performing at the bare minimum due to Bronchitis and lack of sleep.  Once she stops hacking up her lungs she will be back to her normal biting cynicism.  

Memoir Monday: A Wedding, A Graduation and a Parenting FAIL!

Monday, January 11, 2010

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It's Memoir Monday time again.  Sponsored by my buddy Travis over at I like to Fish.   Grab the button and tell your story.

My in-laws love big family get together functions.  So a few years ago when by sister in law was graduating from college, and my MIL's sister was getting married, they combined the functions so that everyone would be there and we could have one large celebration.

We drove up the Cincinnati.  It's roughly a 14 hour drive, if you drive the posted speed limit.  I don't.  We arrived in 12.  I usually drive less than 10 over from Valdosta to Tifton in Georgia, cause GHP loves to write tickets to their out of state drives.  But, once you hit Tennessee......c'ya!  We drive at night, and I don't think I have ever seen a cop in the entire state of TN.

Anyspeed, the events took place in a large reception hall.  There was a wedding, a toast, loads of dancing and drinking.  My in-laws are a partying bunch.  There was a graduation celebration.


After the wedding, we had the reception in the same hall.  All the kids were playing together, dancing and eating reception food.  Kamden came over to the table and asked for some orange soda in a pretty glass.  I poured out the champagne sitting in front of me and gave him my glass.  He took off to play with the rest of the kids.  Adrien and I walked outside the front of the hall.  There was a porch type area with rocking chairs.  We started catching up with my hubby's extended family.

My SIL appears and says. "I think Kamden is drunk."  I am all like, "Excuse me?"  Apparently my little munchkin was drinking from all the champagne toast glasses.  He was pouring his soda in the "pretty" glasses, and he would drink whatever was left in them.  I am totally horrified.  I turn to go into the hall to get him and the doors fly open.  Kamden looks a little green around the gills.  He wobbles towards me, and finds a spot in the grass and pukes.

And that is how my three year old got drunk at a wedding/graduation party.   

That's two hours I can't get back....

Friday, January 8, 2010

Wednesday night I watched The People's Choice Awards.  Why?  Award shows and celebrities always have drama and train wrecks!  That's why.  I was going to post a play by play for you yesterday, but alas, yesterday's post was sponsored by the number 100, and there wasn't time for any programming.  Just the number 100. 

Look, 100 paid me big for the spot!  Really. (Totally kidding, it's a number people not a product.) It reminded me of the whole show.  All the sponsors worked their way into the show.  The awards were almost an after thought.  The cast of GLee even served up DiGorno Pizza to the audience while accepting their award for Best New TV Comedy.

There were several WTF? moments.  The biggest being that The Proposal starring Sandra Bullock won for Best Comedy Movie.  What movies were in the category?  Well, The Hangover for starters.  Now, I personally didn't think The Hangover was as funny as others did, but seriously, who the hell are these people voting?  The Proposal?  Really?


Next, let's have a little chat about Mariah Carey shall we?  She won for Best R&B Artist.  But that isn't the WTF?  She was so gacked out, that her hubby had to walk her up to the microphone.  She slurred through her speech like the ghost of Paula Abdul circa American Idol Seasons 1-8.  She called her dress a drama, and shared TMI references to her sex life with Nick Cannon.  Really Mariah?  Wow, you're classy.  FAIL.

There were some normal moments.  Steve Carrell won for Best Comedy Actor!  The Big Bang Theory won for Best Comedy!  Alyson Hannigan won for Best Comedy Actress!


Nicole Scherzinger of PCD rocked the best dress of the night!  George Lopez had the best jokes of the night!  Ashton Kutcher was, well...Ashton.  He webcast his acceptance speech for Best WebCeleb with the statement "Luke had the force, and we have the web."  My little Wolf boy won Best Break Out Star.  Go Taylor Lautner.  And Johnny Depp was awarded Favorite Movie Actor of the Decade.

Now, the best part.  There were two movie trailers during the PCA, that made the whole 2 hours that I can't get back worth watching.  You all know I am kind of a movie buff geek goer.  Well get this.  They are making a ROBIN HOOD movie with Russell Crowe directed by Ridley Scott!  Release date May 14th! *dancing a jig*

and best thing EVER.  The Clash of The Titans (Remake)!  Squeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Starring Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson and Sam Worthington
Happy Weekend Lip Smackers!

HECTO-BLOG FUN FACT STYLE

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Today is a post in the style of our typical Friday Follies and Fun Facts.
I know it's Thursday, but today's post has to be today.
It's a THEME people work with me here!

MOVIES of the 100 variety


Really what is cooler than Raquel Welch?  She was so fabulous and sexy!

GEEK SPEAK - In the Year 100


In the year 100 AD Buddhist texts were translated into Chinese.
In the year 100 AD the Temple of the God of Medicine was built in Anguo, China.
In the year 100 AD Pliny the Younger advanced to consulship.
In the year 100 AD Tiberius Avidius Quietus rule as governor of Roman Britain ended.
In the year 100 AD Pakores last king of the Indo-Parthian Kingdom takes the throne.
In the year 100 AD Kingdom of Himyarite was conquered by the Hadramaut.
In the year 100 AD Timgad was founded by Emperor Trajan.
In the year 100 AD Josephus, Jewish historian died
In the year 100 AD Agrippa II of Judea died.


MATH GEEK - HECTO


Sum of the 9th and 10th triangular numbers 45 + 55 = 100
Sum of the 1st four cube numbers 1 + 8 + 27 + 64 = 100
Sum of the 1st ten odd numbers 1 + 3 + 5 + 7 + 9 + 11 + 13 + 15 + 17 + 19 = 100
100 is a square number (10X10)
100 is the smallest square which is also the sum of consecutive cubes.
100 is an 18-gonal Number, Centered 33-gonal Number, & an Abundant Number.

MONEY - GREEN BACKS - 100 Smackers

The US hundred dollar bill with Benjamin Franklin's face, is the largest U.S. bill in print.


GAMES
 
100 is the number of tiles in a standard Scrabble set.  BEST BOARD GAME EVER!

RING A LING  LING

100 is the number for the PO-PO (police) in India, Israel and Greece.
100 is the number for Fire Rescue and Ambulance service in Belgium.
100 is the number for the Operator in The United Kingdom.


SPORTY SPICE

 


The number of yards in an American Football field (not including the end zones).
The number of runs required for a cricket batsman to score a Century, a significant milestone
The record number of points scored in one NBA game, set by Wilt Chamberlain of the Philadelphia Warriors on March 2, 1962
The Freedom 100 is an Indy Pro Series auto race held the Friday before the Indianapolis 500 at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway
The 2004 World Series between the Boston Red Sox and the St. Louis Cardinals was the 100th Fall Classic
San Diego Chargers running back LaDainian Tomlinson became the fastest player in NFL history to reach 100 touchdowns on November 19, 2006
Ryan Howard of the Philadelphia Phillies became the fastest MLB player to reach 100 home runs on.  Jus June 27, 2007
The minimum distance in yards for a Par 3 on a golf course. 


And finally 100 episodes is typically the milestone at which a television series is considered viable for syndication.  Most prime time series reach this milestone in season 5.  Ironic, since it takes about 5 months to compile 100 blog posts!


So what happens at a Blogger's 100th post, you are surely asking yourself by now.  Nothing much just blathering on about random uselss factoids.

Seriously folks, thanks for sticking with me.  I appreciate your love, and comments, and comments, and love!  Here's to another crazy 100!

Bliss or Miss....

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Ahhh......you hear that?  That is silence baby!  The children went to school.  The dogs are still sleeping.  I walked back to their kennels and they just looked up at me like "Yeah right!  There is no way we are going outside right now!"  So....I let them go back to sleep(the dogs people, not the children!  Geez!).

I was really stoked about my morning.  I was going to take the boys to school.  Come home, make some breakfast(for myself, I did feed the children, cereal, Duh!).  Take a nice long HOT bath, and enjoy my nice quiet empty house.

Then as we scurried about to get ready for school, we go to brush teeth this morning and guess what?  THE PIPES ARE FROZEN!  That's right.  We have no water this morning!  It's that cold in FL.  Look, I know you all are saying "She is never happy, just last week she was begging for some snow."  Ok, look.  I  wanted a WHITE Christmas.  I still wouldn't mind seeing some white stuff.  BUT, we just get this frigid cold and nothing to go with it.  That SUCKS.

It's like getting all hot and bothered on a date and then getting to the door and not even so much as a good night peck on the cheek!  Mother Nature is a tease.  Now I know that my buddies Daff and Erin are saying SHE (Mama Nature) is a dirty whore right about now, not a tease.   I know you girls are feeling a little more than a tit bit nipply!

But, girls, I HAVE NO WATER.  It won't be above freezing for hours.  So, if anybody needs me.......I will be sitting in the silence, with no water, unable to bathe, brush teeth, or make coffee.  So my day of bliss.....

FAIL!

EVEN people in CALIFORNIA are cold.  Like my buddy Meeko.  He is so cold he has to wear his Monkey Slippers to work.  (I may have made that part up, but go see him.  Why?  BECAUSE I SAID SO, he's funny.  AND I, yes THINK TANK MOMMA will win some Starbuck's!  Just think, then when the water freezes again I can just go use my pretty little gift card from Meeko!)

Post-It Note Tuesday: Walkin in the Arctic for Choos

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

It's Tuesday, which means only one thing. Lots and lots of Post-It Notes all over Blogland.
Thanks to the ultra fabulous SupahMommy.
So join the FUN!
Grab the button.
Head over to this site and make your own post-its and get to postin'!
Then go to SupahMommy site and do the Mr. Linky thing so people can come and see yours too!
Yes, this is a show me yours and I'll show you mine, or whatevs...I suppose you pervy types can just be voyeuristic and look on from the corners if ya like.


So here we go, stick 'em if you got 'em!


 
 
 
 
 

Friday...go see That One Mom @ Chronicles of an Only Parent


 
 
 

There you have it Smackers.  Another SUPER STICKY Moment between friends.  I apologize to all of you for not being responsive to your comments.  I have been a wee (pun intended) bit busy here at the Tank.  I am getting it together, I swear.  The children go back to school Wednesday.  I have the LIB (Lose It Bitches!) site up, and I have been working really hard with my contributors to make it special for you.

As always I leave you with LOVE!