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Think Sweet Sweet Treat

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

It's time for an education lesson for you my loves.  Chocolate.  Mmmm.....sweet nectar of the Gods!  History time.  Who knows it's origin?  I do, cause I'm smart like that.  So here it is, I want my followers all edumacated and I can't have slackers.  Well, at least about important shit like, chocolate, coffee, vampires....what?  Oh, sorry.  I got distracted.

So history of chocolate.  Chocolate was first cultivated and consumed by The Mayans and The Aztecs.  Yeah, and you all thought that North America was The Promised Land.  Nope.  By the year 1000 A.D. the cocoa beans were being used as currency.  The Aztecs were a little screwed up though.  They were drinking undiluted, unsweetened liquor from fermented cocoa beans.  They believed it would bring them wisdom, energy and understanding, and it was reserved for their powerful.  Can you say ick!?

So when Columbus arrived in 1492 he was given some beans.  He took them back to Spain, but he didn't know how to cultivate or ferment them. Shortly thereafter, Cortez showed up in 1519 to conquer Montezuma. The Aztecs, silly as they were, believed he was some Q-something or other guy that was prophesied to return.  Anyhoo, they tried to bribe him with chocolate.  It didn't work, he settled their lands for Spain.  But, he learned how to properly process those precious little cocoa beans.  He took them and the knowledge of how to get that liquor goodness ick back to Spain.

But you just got to love those sexy Spainards.  They make everything sexy.  Including CHOCOLATE.  They added sugar and honey to the bitter liquid goodness, and presto-chango, sweet nectar of the Gods.  They, like those Aztec/Mayan stingy bastards only allowed the upper echelon to partake of the sexy brown liquor!  The Spainards kept that secret at Court for 100 years.

So...now, are you all ready for all that candy on Saturday?  Hmmm?  Ready for chocolatey goodness that you are going to send your kiddos out whoring for?  Oh, don't look at me with such indignation and those glaring eyes over glasses like I just said something so Gawd Awful that you can't believe it.  You know that you end up going through their bags, taking all the pieces of your favorites, and telling them that one looks bad, or whatever other excuse you come up with to steal candy from babies.  They are all lies.  And why do we do it?  I do cause that's what my Dad did.  But hey, he always took us trick or treating.  Nevermind, that when we said we were ready to quit he would make us keep going for say another 30 houses.  Why?  Because he was going to steal our candy!

I had worked out this masterful, and I do mean masterful plan with the kids this year.  I end up throwing so much candy away every year, that when they were having trouble deciding what they wanted to be, I, in a momentary stroke of sheer genius, suggested that they could skip Trick or Treating if they wanted.  Here was the offer:  if you don't get costumes, I will take you to buy your favorite big bag of Halloween candy and then you won't have all the stuff you don't like.  THEY. AGREED.  I was so stoked!  Yeah, that lasted about a week.  They decided they need costumes because they have to dress up for school.  Freaking Public Education.  Damnit!  I kid. Sort of.

Anyway, I did get out of costumes sort of.  We found these great t-shirts at Wal-Mart.  They come with a handkerchief for a mask.  They had pirates, zombies, vampires, and a few others.  The boys wanted the vampire ones.  We have some makeup, fake blood/teeth and white hair spray, and I got it all for like $15.  So, I guess they are going to trunk-or-treat at church and dress up for school.  Happy Halloween you little boogers!

We have this local chocolatier here in North Florida called Peterbrooke Chocolatiers.  They have the best chocolates.  They even make chocolate covered popcorn.  And it is to die for!  I promise.  They had a Spooktacular event  this afternoon that Kooper and Kamden attended.  It was awesome.  They got to learn about the chocolate.  Tour the facility, and best part.  They got to dip cookies, pretzels, etc..in the warm liquid goodness and bring home their creations!  They had a great time.  See their smiling faces below.

Sitting outside before the chocolate dipping began:




And here they are in aprons and hats ready for us to leave already!


And one last pic, they love each other for real!




Well folks, I hope you enjoyed your chocolate lesson as much as the munchkins did!

Keep it sweet, and leave me some love!

23 comments:

Joy said...

"They love each other for real" - LOL! I know what you mean!

joytotheblog.blogspot.com

Travis said...

I have to go take an insulin shot after reading this.

Diabetes is so lame.

Allison said...

Okay...I'm guilty...I steal the candy. That's my parental right and I'm sticking to it! That's a great idea about the bag!

Love your blog and am a follower now!

www.tatertotmom.blogspot.com

Daffy said...

I'm with Travis on this one...sheesh! Chocolate rocks... I don't really care what the history is behind it. All I know is that Mr. Hershey lived in PA.

Conquer The Monkey said...

Chocolate does rock. I had the most AMAZING CHOCOLATE CHIP BREAD PUDDING this w/end, I don't even LIKE bread pudding, and I wasn't even hungry, but still, it had to be consumed.
love the choco history lesson :0)
www.conquerthemonkey.com

Meeko Fabulous said...

Ah . . . The history of chocolate . . . and thanks for the compliment . . . I have some Spanish blood in me . . . somewhere . . . I'm sexy dammit! LOL! :)

Michelle said...

YES. I told my kids that instead of going to a feigned halloween party I would buy candy and play games. EVERYONE wanted to do that.

I'm going to let them each pick a bag of candy.

Lily said...

Halloween is the reason I want to have kids.

How else can I get my hands on free candy?

adrienzgirl said...

Mr. Hershey was another story all together. I could do a whole blog post. He was quite an amazing man! He left his whole fortune to charty for under privileged children.

adrienzgirl said...

Thanks Allison! And we ALL steal the candy! :P

adrienzgirl said...

Sorry bout your bad luck dude!

I'll find you something sugar free and tasty!

adrienzgirl said...

But they are so CUTE!

adrienzgirl said...

Oh snap! Meeko you are FAB-U!

adrienzgirl said...

Ah...look another genius! I love it!

adrienzgirl said...

You are going to make a ROCKSTAR mommy!!

adrienzgirl said...

I'll take your word for it. I don't do bread pudding. I have a whole texture thing and soggy bread and pudding....um, NO!

:D

LiLu said...

Best. Trip. EVER!!! I wanna go!

adrienzgirl said...

I will take you. C'mon on down!!

Noelle Platt said...

When we were little our grandma would buy us all candy for every holiday...chocolate for everyone but me...and she would buy me something different. I don't love chocolate. I know, it's not normal, but it's the truth.

JennyMac said...

I love your sassy sense of humor. Our son is barely onto the whole Halloween / candy thing..he doesnt really like candy ...good..I will certainly help lighten his load. LOL.

adrienzgirl said...

My sister isn't a fan either. I wasn't a chocoholic until after I had my last baby. Now, I love love love it!

adrienzgirl said...

Oooo...someone thinks I am sassy! I'll take it! :P

Thanks! Love!

MJenks said...

Yeah, he was supposed to Quetzalcoatl, which is funny, because Quetzalcoatl was supposed to be a snake with wings.

Apparently, Cortes was none too pretty...