I was Google chatting this morning with one of my best bloggy buddies, who shall remain nameless, cause she told me not to make her main page fodder, and then she called me a bish....and we were blowing up all the preconceived notions about stereotypes, and solving the worlds problems, and finding ways to impart world peace and shiz like that. Yeah, we're awesome like that.
Anyway, we were chatting about things that make us RLF (real life friends). I consider all my friends, bloggy or otherwise, friends, just so ya'll are aware. Yes, I'm delusional that way, but you all already know that. I blog about my life, and it's real, and I have made friends this way, and probably share more with you than people that I see face to face, so there, friends. We were discussing that neither of us have a whole lot of girlfriends and the reason(s) for that. We both agreed, neither of us are girly-girls, and that maybe we might just be a little bit too honest.
Too honest you say? I will explain. Yes, I am going to blow the lid off some well kept woman secrets. Listen up!
Women pretend to not like sex. That way they can use it against men. They can use it as a reward system. They can pretend it is more of a duty in marriage than a privilege. Crap! It's all crap! We like it. Some of us love it. And I for one, do not ever use it for anything other than intimacy and love with my sweetheart.
Women talk about other women when they are not around. Especially their friends. I am not really sure why. This one is perplexing. I don't get it. It is the reason said bloggy buddy and I are so not girly-girls, and why both of us admitted to having no real girlfriends. Cause here's the thing, if you don't participate, you can't be in the club. Cattiness is not my thing. I refuse to gossip, and I am so not in the club. And, I don't care. *gasp* Not care that I am not in the club? What? ALL women want to be accepted?! Nope, not this bish, and not my bloggy bud either.
Next, women fart. Women burp. Women belch. Women go number two.
Here are a few other things: We don't like laundry, dishes, cleaning toilets, cleaning under beds, cleaning closets, picking up the shit everyone leaves where it doesn't belong, changing diapers, wiping butts and snotty noses. We do it because we have to, and because we love you.
Well, that pretty much covers it.
Oh yeah, also...Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy. Not real.
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