Think "Anti-SAHM"

Alrighty, here we go.  You ready?  This is gonna be one of those posts that will insight riots.  Can't you tell just by the title?  Some have said of me in the past, in reference to my inability to hold back, that I possibly have diarrhea of the mouth.  Yes, that's right!  Can you believe the gall of some people?

Anyway, I have been in the closet for some time now.  Living with shame.  But, today I have found a bit of moxie and I think that I can find my voice and share with others.  I am stepping out and say it loud and proud!
I don't like children.  I don't.  Well, actually I don't like other people's children.  AND, I don't like being a stay at home mom.  I would rather go to work.  Spend my day amongst the adults.  Have meaningful conversations about politics, and the economy, and deadlines and work.

God that was liberating!  I feel GREAT!

So, I should say, I love my children.  I do!  It's a love that only another mother could fathom.  It's unexplainable, there are no words.  None that can capture what a joy and rapture a mom feels when she looks at her children.  Having said that, I do not have the mommy gene that makes me jump for joy when my babies did their first doodies.  The only cool thing about POOP is that it is a palindrome and backwards or forwards it is the same.  Also, I am elated at the end of an evening when it's bedtime and they go to sleep.  I have been known to respond when people tell me that my children are "so cute", with "yeah, when their sleeping!"

Anti-SAHM, let me go further with this and explain.  I think Mommy groups are for the socially inept.   Why do you need a community of others to ask common sense questions like, what is an appropriate bedtime for children?  Weren't you a child once?  Didn't you have a freakin' bedtime?  Did you suffer severe head trauma as a small child and forget what time you were told was appropriate?  Or, why is it necessary to consult with other new moms about what your child should be doing at each monthly stage.  All children are different and they progress at their own pace.  You take your child to the pediatrician to make sure they are reaching the milestones they are supposed to, they are called well baby checkups.  Duh!  Do you not trust the doctor who went to medical school, who paid all that good money to get educated?  Surely he is a better source to consult than the 30 something year old lady who thinks your child is behind because hers started walking at 8 months and yours didn't until he was 10 months. 

My mom never joined one of these groups.  She didn't set up "play dates" for us.  We went outside and played with the neighbors.  If you don't live in a neighborhood where you feel comfortable letting your children play with the neighbors, and you have to ship in children from a Mommy group, perhaps YOU have issues.  I mean really, WTF?  Perhaps you should move to another neighborhood where the class of people is better suited for your snobbery.

Don't misunderstand me, I do not have any problems with stay at home moms who love their job.  I think it's fabulous that there are women that are living their dream of being a wife, and mother and homemaker.  I respect those women who Homeschool their kids to protect them from the woes of the world.  That allow their children to be shielded from the tragedy that is the world we live in.  I would never mock THEM.

I however, have no use for the likes of my "step-wife".  That's right, the moniker my ex-husband's wife has dubbed me with.  Can I just say?  CRAZY!  She has a blog where she and her other mommy group followers talk about their husbands, how they have sex when they don't want to to make sure they(the hubs) don't go elsewhere), confess things like they spy on others on Facebook, and the list goes on.  It's like a grown up Romper Room version of highschool.  Catty!  If they are the stereotypical SAHMs and Mommy Groups....I am The Anti-ChristSAHM.  (NOTE:  I am not the one she is calling friend, that would be the third wife.  I was the first wife.  The one with the blog...NUMBER FOUR)

I want to say this before all of you start firing off nasty-grams I LOVE MY CHILDREN, and I LOVE MY HUSBAND, and I am thankful for the ability to stay home and not lose our possessions. I am one of the most blessed people I know.  I am RICH beyond compare in the fact that I have Prince Charming for a husband and a gaggle of brilliant, funny, beautiful, and HAPPY WELL ADJUSTED children.

Anyshizzle, sorry for the rant today.  I just had to share!  As always, I leave you with Love!

That is all!