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Think Monday is not for Happy Shiny People

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I woke this morning, like any other.  I woke the boys, got them off to school.  There was a whirlwind through the house, like always.  There is typically a bit more angst on Monday mornings than other days of the week, simply because short term memory with ADD children and moms is worsened when you consider there were two whole days where we didn't care about backpacks and the like.

This didn't bother me.  I was for all intensive purposes in a fairly chipper mood for a Monday.  My FB post was even nauseating for a Monday morning. (Good morning!  Good Morning!  It's time to say Good Morning!)  See, sick, I know.  I had several errands to run today.  I got dressed, even did my makeup.  See good mood.  I got the stuff I had to drop off at the post office, I didn't forget my list of things I needed at the store, I was uncharacteristically really "together" when I left the house.  The sun was shining and I was off to conquer the day.

I get to the post office and I can't find any stamps in my purse.  I am digging and digging while sitting in neutral in front of the little blue box.  Then someone pulled in behind me, and honked, so I pulled into a parking spot and went inside.  He gave me a dirty look and and nice one finger wave, but whatever, I was not going to let one A**hole ruin my said togetherness.  I mailed the letter, life was good.

So the hubby had given me a list of necessities he needed, like razors, deodorant, soap, etc.  I debated, but I gave in.  I was going to just go to Publix and pay a little more, because that's what I am used to doing, but, given that I am still not working, I bit the bullet and headed to Wal-Mart.

When I got there I thought, hey, this is great.  Not too crowded, not too many crazies, I can do this.  I got all the things on the hubby's list and then it happened.  I heard what sounded like a screeching owl.   Every few seconds.  What the hell is that I said to myself?  And then it occurred to me.  I said, "Self that is a child!"  OMG!  Somebody shut that off!  Every few seconds.  Every corner of the store I went to.  "Screech!"  "Squawk!" " Screech!"  I started shopping faster.  I needed some groceries but if I had to listen to that much longer, I was going to crack.  I was in the spice/baking aisle huffing and puffing trying to keep both my sanity and composure.  This lady looked at me with furrowed brow, "You looking for something in particular?"  I look at her like she is possibly from another planet and say, "Do you not hear that?"  She looks at me and says, "I know, that poor Mom."  I turned around and ran before I took my frustration out on that woman.

ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS LADY?  THAT POOR MOM?  I don't know about you, but my children have NEVER done that in public, AND if they got anywhere near close to showing their butts in public like THAT, they would RUE the day.  POOR LADY?  WTF?  I have never seen or heard a fit like that before, and I am telling you, it wasn't a mild fit that lasted minutes because the behavior was corrected, oh NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!  It went on, and on, and ON, and ON, and ON!

I forgot the freakin' milk in my rush to get the hell out of there.  AND then when I got out the door, all my pretty happy Monday sunshine was GONE. G-O-N-E, gone!  It was raining.  I got soaked.  My hair curled up all over my head.  So much for all that blow drying.  Make up was running.  Wasted that 15 minutes.

So, that's what  I get for trying to trump and overcome the typical Monday doldrums.  It came, and it went.

Happy F$%(^ing Monday!


Ducky said...

I'm there with you. I understand the *experts* say to ignore such behavior and the child will eventually quit. Sorry - my kid would immediately be taken back to the car and I would ignore her THERE where she can only make MY hair curl. Yikes... sorry your Marvelous Monday turned to a manic one.

Mandi said...

Jen and and I joke when we see some crazy kid and mom completly unaware of her childs terrible behavior about how we are never going to be "that mom" who lives in her own bubble. It's like Really? You can see that your childs future is not heading in a great direction as you let him scream in Wal-Mart? I hope next monday is better. I am a target kinda girl Wal-mart just drives me crazy to begin with. Good luck next with on a happy Monday!!!!

Ed said...

Don't you just love Walmart?

I know I do.

It's always good for some laughs.

If you want someone to sympathize with, check out my wife's blog post today.