Bully

My boys walk home from the bus stop everyday.  It's several houses down from where we live.  So, Kooper calls me the moment he gets off the bus and we talk until I can physically "see" him and his brother.


Last week he called and he was in tears.  He was crying so hard I could barely understand what he was saying.  I had asked the same question I do every day, "How was your day?"


I got from the conversation that someone had been mean.  I just couldn't really make out the details through the tears.


Once he got home I got the whole story.  A kid in his class has been bullying him since school started this year.  He has been calling my son "fat", "stupid" and making fun of him so that he has quit participating in football with the other boys at recess.  He told him the only thing he(my son) could do was outweigh his(the bully) mom.


I was furious to say the least.  I felt the sting of anger hit my eyes, and I fought back the tears with everything I had while I consoled my broken hearted son.  I asked him several questions about the other child, and fought the urge to make disparaging comments about the bully.  We discussed the situation.  I told Kooper that the bully was just jealous.


Kooper retorted "He's not jealous of me mom, I don't have anything he wants, why would he be jealous?" 


I said, "You do too son.  You have friends, and family who love you.  Do you know why people say hurtful things like that?"


"Yes Mom, I know that he does it to make himself feel better.  It still doesn't make it any easier to take." he replied.


My heart skipped a beat.  For a split second I was elated that the things I try to impart in my children are actually sinking in.  Then the reality of his words hit my heart and the stinging in my eyes took over.  I hugged my baby tightly and told him that I loved him.  Told him he was perfect and that no one could take away his dignity unless he gave it to them.  I wiped my tears before he could see them.


I told him that obviously this little boy was lacking something at home.  Kooper argued that this boy claims how perfect his life is all the time.  Boasts about it even.  He has everything.  He has perfect this, and perfect that.  I asked Kooper if he really believed that.  He sat and thought for a moment.  "I guess not.  He wouldn't have to tell everyone if that was true would he Mom?"


"No Koop, he wouldn't."


"He's kinda sad and pathetic huh?"


"Son, obviously he has some issues that we don't know about.  Just remember that and try not to let the things he says get to you."


With that Kooper got up and went to play in his room.


I quickly made a break for my room where I no longer fought the anger or hurt and I let the tears fall from my face.  How dare that child hurt my sweet tender hearted baby!  After I let it out, I washed my face and composed myself.


I spoke to Kooper later and he asked me not to address the situation at school.  He said his teacher had seen him crying after recess and that she assured him that she would correct the problem.  I agreed that this time I would let it go as long as it was addressed by his teacher.


The next time?  Momma Bear is going down to take care of it!


What would you do Smackers?  Have any of you had similar issues with school bullies?