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The Need for Speed Driving Course

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I've written before about my propensity to feel the need for speed.  I drive fast.  I get behind the wheel and my foot hits the pedal and it's a match made in heaven.  The moment my foot hits that pedal it's like an instant connection.  The pedal knows me and I know it.  We jive.  If you add to that connection a's even better.

Just because I like to drive fast doesn't mean I drive unsafely though.  I am always very aware of everything going on around me.  If you are going to speed that's kind of important.  In my younger years I worked just to pay off the state. Which is to say that I was always the recipient of tickets.  

Tickets for speeding = points on license.  

In order to continue my need for speed I took a defensive driving course.  

Taking driving course = No points assessed to driver's license

The defensive driving course really was a huge benefit.  Much to my surprise, I enjoyed the 4 hours of my life that I could never get back.  I learned to be aware of others around me at. all. times.  I have successfully avoided a gazillion accidents because of idiot drivers thanks to that defensive driving course.

Anyspeeddemon, one morning a few years ago on my way to work, I stopped to drop off my electric bill.  It took BDC like FOREVER to start paying our bills online.  Don't's a whole other post.  So I dropped off the payment which seriously cramped my morning time table, and was sitting at the light waiting to get back into traffic.  

Being aware of those around me I noticed the guy who pulled up behind me.  He was in a black Ford Explorer.  I noticed him staring.  Craning his neck even. I thought "Damn dude!  Take a picture already."  Then I saw him shift in his seat.  I wanted the light to change already, but the light we were sitting at is notoriously slow.  So then I see the guy open his door.  My heart raced as he started walking.  What the hell?  Who does that?  

Oh shit!  He has something in his hand.  He stopped.  It's an umbrella in his hand.  He then starts toward his windshield wipers with the umbrella.  Then I see what he was looking at.  It wasn't me he was staring at, making mean faces at.  It wasn't me he was after.  IT. WAS. A. SNAKE!

He flicked the snake off his truck.  He then proceeded to do the freaking most hilarious DOODY JIG DANCE I have ever witnessed and jumped back in his truck.  The light changed and as we pulled into traffic he saw me laughing and gave me the faintest of smiles.

I thought about this when I was attacked by the little green tree frog earlier this week.  I opened my front door to take my Chihuahua out and the frog fell on my head.  It felt heavy for a little frog when it hit my hair.  When I swiped the side of my head quickly, it fell to the floor.  It was wet and slimy and I did one of those full body shivers and squealed before I saw it hit the floor.  I was mid-doody jig dance when I realized it was just a tree frog and I was being ridiculous.

Lucky for me, nobody witnessed my dance.  The poor guy in the Ford Explorer had to go through the whole day knowing that I laughed about his public dancing of the creepy crawlies!


Momma Fargo said...

The best thing you can do when you speed, is run over those snakes!

Daffy said...

Its funny how manly men are scared of creepy crawlies.

Oh! The banging of gears....sigh...the wooosh of speed....sigh....the thrill of 4 speeding tickets inside of 3 weeks in the same damn spot that just happened to be a construction zone. I swear that cop had a hardon for me. Ooops...can I say that here? *snort* WTF kind of question is that?! Sorry. Must.Drink.More.Coffee

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but I disagree. "it was just a tree fron and I was being ridiculous."

There is NOTHING ridiculous about a tree frog making contact with a human body.


*jigging, just in case*


Anonymous said...

LOL Omg! That totally reminds me of the time I was attacked by a Praying Mantis.

I would have completely flipped my lid if there was a snake on my car!!

Buffee said...

No, it wasn't me, it was the one armed frog! (It's what came to mind, don't judge me)!

LMFAO. . . ask Daffy what that means.

Maggie said...

I love to speed. It makes me happy! I wish I could abolish the speed limits around where I live, but I think the roundabouts are more of a problem.

Shame you didn't have a camera to video his goofy dance!

Liz said...

he may have very well shit his pants, too. i know i wouldn't be able to get back in my car fast enough if that happened to me!