Wordless WTF? Wednesday

*SPECIAL EDITION OF WTF? WEDNESDAY*

In honor or The Duck, who has to bury her sister today.

Phallic much?

Looks like showers?

Um...just ewwww!

 The Star Wars WTF?'s always amuse me.

And the always fun
WTF? CANDY

POO PELLETS?  REALLY?

I

 Yes let's teach the kiddies that cannibalism is cool shall we?  WTF?

HAPPY HUMP DAY SMACKERS.

Don't forget tomorrow is Share a Spoon Thursday.  Comfort Food is the theme.  I will be announcing something special.

Mostly Wordless WTF? Wednesday

HAPPY HUMP DAY SMACKERS!

Just gross.  Even for Halloween, if that's what these were made for....GROSS!

Creepy or is it just me?

WTF?  Star Wars Burlesque?  Really?

What kind of friends take pics like this and post them on the net?

I have a Red high heel fetish...but this?  WTF?

Japanese Neck warmers....I shit you not.

?

I love the Japanese.

See?  Japan rocks!

Ok...so now it's just getting weird.

Perhaps a fascination with the X-Men?

C'mon ride the train....

and last but certainly not least.....

THE

WTF?

of the day!

WHAT THE FUCK?

Leave me some love Smackers!

 

Wordless WTF Wednesday

For your viewing pleasure Lip Smackers. 

 

  

  

  

  

And a special Thank You to Daffy for sending me this special gem:

Happy Hump Day Smackers!

WTF Wednesday - Conan The Classy Barbarion and American Sob Story

Oh, my lovely Lip Smackers.  Think Tank Momma is disgusted with her favorite thing this week.  I love television as most of you know.  Those of you who are new should know, I LURVE my DVR, and I love t.v.  Another thing you newbies may not know, I don't sleep.  Seriously, insomniac doesn't even cover it.  So, what's a girl to do when she doesn't sleep you ask?  I mean, besides the obvious blogging and surfing the internet.  Well, we need some background noise.  And what might you ask is my noise of choice?  Duh!  TELEVISION!

I watch Late Night TV.  I watch the news, and then The Tonight Show, and then Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and then I even watch the Carson Daly whatever show(the new format, not that shit that was called a show when he first started).

So this is WTF? Wednesday, and seriously WTF?  NBC - you douchcanoes!  Seriously?  You are going to give Leno another show over Conan?  Did he not stay with you and do what you asked him to?  Did he not fill his obligations?  Did he not pass over lucrative offer after offer to get the job he deserves and dreamed of since he was a kid?  Oh, right he did!  BECAUSE NBC you promised him the J-O-B.  So you build a great big beautiful new set.  You move Conan out to L.A.  You spend like a gazillion hours promoting The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, and then you what?  Pull the plug?  Did you seriously believe that moving The Tonight Show to THE NEXT DAY would be acceptable?  Really?

Oh and you site ratings as the reason?  Um....pretty sure some of those notsosmart suit types you have running the place anticipated that the blue hairs who love Leno were going to need to get used to the younger hipper feel of the comedic stylings of one Conan O'Brien.  Your sponsors and affiliates are pissed that JAY LENO isn't carrying the audiences into the news hour.  Guess what?  That is a FAIL on your part.  Nice one, The Leno Show will cost less money than dramatic programming.  Yep.  That was a brilliant move.  WTF?  You all didn't anticipate the ratings drops?  You thought the affiliates wouldn't notice?  It's comedy(sort of), not fucking magic.

NBC - Take a page from Conan's book and do the classy thing.  Leave Conan's show alone.  Let Leno retire, or go to another network, or whatever.  It's a new dawn, it's a new day, and Conan makes me feel GOOD!

American Idol - WTF?  Why do we have to hear sob story after sob story?  Why?  Why?  Why?  Really, just show the auditions.  I realize I bitched when you showed nothing but talentless attention whores who were looking for 5 minutes of FOX fame, which is not to be confused with 15 minutes of real fame.  But, seriously?  I think I would rather endure three weeks of that over the poor Sally's sick Granny this, and John's near death that, and I only have one leg and live in a box but have the pipes of an angel, blah, blah, blah.  OH, and if SIMON LEAVES?  We are through.  Just sayin'.

Well my lovelies...I could continue, but I won't subject you to anymore ranting today.  I appreciate all the well wishes.  I am on the mend, I hope!

WTF? Wednesday: Fruitcake Holiday Edition

This is a special edition of  WTF? Wednesday for the Holidays.  We will be replacing the "F" word with FRUITCAKE.  Why?  Cause it's my blog, and I find it immensely amusing, and it's the holidays for The Love of Christmas.  Fruitcake is a little less irreverent than the typical WTF? Wednesday, and Momma wants Santa to put her on the NICE LIST.  Stop laughing!

 WTF?  - A Salvation Army bell ringer, working at a Wal-Mart in Anderson, Indiana was arrested for shoplifting on his lunch break.  He was found with $20 worth of Christmas ornaments that he shoved in his jacket and his fast food bag.  All the while singing "The First Noel".  Oh, but folks it gets better.  He was held without bail after being arrested, for violating the terms of his probation on a previous case.  WTF?

 Since it's so close to Christmas break, and I am not sure whether next week will lend itself well to a WTF? post we are going to hand out What. The. Fruitcake? Awards for the Top10 people in the news of 2009.  These folks all deserve a fruitcake to the face.  That's right.  The worst gift ever, that people regift, throw out, keep for next year to give to someone really unlikeable, the cake that ways a ton, just sounds nasty, and would make a perfect brick to the face. (You'll notice there are only 1-8 listed below.  #8 and #6 are couples, lending fruitcakes to two people.  All total 10.  Work with me, it's simple math folks.)


Without further ado....

8.)  Jon and Kate Gosselin - You subjected us to countless hours of your drivel.  You were headline news for weeks and weeks.  You fought it out every other day on the Today Show.  You lost your television gig (thank you TLC for that train wreck).  We are so glad we are leaving you behind in 2009.  Have a fruitcake to the face!

7.)  Carrie Prejean - You are a sad pathetic excuse for a beauty queen (Oh wait.  You got that title snatched right outta your hands biatch!).  In the 80s, there was a commercial with Kelly LeBrock with a tagline "Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful".  Every time you open your mouth and spew that poor pitiful me, I was so wrongly disparaged against (ahem!) bullshit, we all want to gag.  People hate me because I stood up for what I believe in.  No. No.  Same as Kelly.  Darlin' we don't hate you because you are beautiful.  There are so many other reasons why.  You, deserve a fruit cake to the face! 

6.) Heene's Hoax - This is also known as "The Balloon Boy Hoax".  Though the boy was never in a balloon, he was in a box, in the attic, allegedly.  Your parents are reality television wannabe stars and they deserve FRUITCAKES to the FACE!

5.) Chris Brown - Beat the shizzle outta Rihanna's face right before an awards show.....Wha?????  This guy deserves more than a fruitcake to face!  Perhaps a fruitcake shoved where the sun don't shine.  There is a special place in hell for men that beat on women!

4.)  Joe Jackson - You were promoting your record label a few days after THE KING OF POP died?  Really?  Not grieving the loss of your child?  Hawking your record label?  Seriously?  You are an asshat.  And you deserve a fruitcake to the face. 

3.) Secret Service Director - You deserve a fruitcake to the face.  The Sahili's.  Really?  Nobody caught that shit?  Seriously, I have seen them, a lot.  Not like they were some stealthy nondescript attendees.  No!  They were limelight whores, and no one thought, who the hell are these people?  Really?  WTF?  FRUITCAKE to the FACE!

2.)  Kanya West - Dude!  Fruitcake to the Face.  'Nuff said.

and the number one spot goes to.......

1.) El Tigre!  Unfortunately, as this story continues to unfold, not even Kanye West can make this guy look good.  DAMN!  And the hits just keep on coming.  It really was a joke when I said 18 'hos.  Apparently not.  The numbers on this keep rising like sewer water during a FRAT HOUSE PARTY!  TIGER, take your fruitcake to the face like a man!  SMACK!

There you have it folks.  WHAT. THE. FRUITCAKE. 2009.

WTF? Wednesday - Media FAIL

I asked, you answered. Apparently, WTF? stays. However, it has been a slow news week my friends. I do have a few things to warrant a solid WTF? cause let's face it, I like to bitch about whatever makes me unhappy.  BTW - I found the pic I am using by Google(ing) WTF?  For real, it's that easy kids.

I will not be issuing any WTF?'s on the following today:  Tiger, The Sahali's, Tiger's Mother-in-Law, or any of the other over covered news stories this week.  I am tired of it too folks!

Neilsen Ratings - WTF?  I have bitched.  I have complained.  I have offered intelligent input.  Hell, hire me for your fucking crack team of technologists, I could do better.  Your ratings system?  FAIL!  Yeah, so I know you state you are covering all three viewing mediums, tv, computer and mobile device.  But clearly, people are watching programming that keeps getting canceled.  All based on your fucked up ratings system.  It's not possible that EVERY PROGRAM I watch on network television has three viewers.  I know that there are other people who like what I like.  Stop trying to make me think my viewing pleasures are that freaking offbeat.  WTF?  Fix your shit Yo!

CBS - WTF?  I love, love, love Alex O'Loughlin.  Love him!  He is like the freakin' hottest Aussie ever.  Sizzling!  I am still freaking bitter that you allowed the fucking writer's strike to kill Moonlight.  All vampires considered.  He was the hottest!  (Edward fans?  Step off!  Robert Pattison doesn't. even. come. close.)  We gathered in groups.  Signed digital protest forms.  We tried everything, and you heard our voices.  Yet you waited until all the actors had other obligations and you canceled our show.  Way to go morons.  Fast forward.  You clearly see the error of your ways. You employ Alex again, cause all the ladies love him.  We are clearly not as excited about seeing our ULTRASEXY vampire as a genius doctor, but we will watch just to fantasize about him alone later.  We watch.  You canceled the show already?  WTF?  I hate you CBS. 

(Ladies, really need I say more?)

Comcast - WTF?  You are now buying NBC Universal?  You can't get your cable programming to work efficiently.  Now you are going to flush what's left of the once fabulous "must see TV" down the toilet?  Great.  I think I am going to quit watching anything that doesn't come on either FOX, HBO or SHOtime.  Cause really, what's the point?  Canceled.  Canceled. Canceled.  Here is my 2 cents:  Leave Conan alone, I love him.  And Seth Meyers? Should do the news.  ALL OF IT.  Morning.  Noon.  Night.  Let Seth deliver me all my news.  Just the way I like it.  Seething with sarcasm and drenched with a wet dose of WTF?

Well my sweet peeps, that pretty much covers my WTF? Wednesday.  Next week we will do a special holiday edition of WTF?  Please feel free to take the logo from the top of the page.  Do your own WTF? and let me know.  I will add your links.  If you all want I will try and add Mr. Linky.

As always, I leave you with Love!  Happy Hump Day!

(NOTE:  Because I received soooooo many requests, I will be posting the recipe for PeanutButter Balls tomorrow.  Who loves you?)

WTF? Wednesday

How cool is that pic huh?  New here at my place.  WTF? Wednesday  I am not sure if I will stick with this, but holy shit, it's a great idea right?  I often have those weeks where everything is just WTF? worthy you know?  So without further ado.

TIGER - WTF?  We all love you.  We all thought this is the real deal.  Awesome golfer. Best ever.  Awesome family man.  Screeeeeeeeeeeech!  Not so fast?  WTF?  I supported you.  I even chastised my fellow bloggers for jumping to conclusions too early(sorry Cameron).  And now they are coming out of the woodwork?  Like someone turned on the lights and the little filthy roaches just scamper out and run!  DAMNIT Tiger!

ABC - WTF?  You preview a cool new awesome Christmas special.  The kids are excited.  The hubs is giddy like a school girl.  I am freakin' stoked.  Then you let it be preempted by The President?  WTF?  Not cool.  You better play that shit again!  My kids and the hubs are pissed!  For real!

Victoria Secret - WTF?  A $3M dollar bra? What. The. Fuck?  Why?  Just why?  I mean sexy I get.  Sparkly I get.  But,  I cannot ever get paying THREE MILLION DOLLARS for undergarments.  Now, if someone were to say, bling out some fabulous shoes.  That I get.  You could put those bitches on.  Strut around town, say, NYC.  Watch as all the girls drooled, and gasped, and drooled, and sighed.  You would hear "Hello luvahs...." and even hear the audible swooning.  BUT a BRA?  It's an undergarment for crying out loud!

NEWS Agencies - WTF?  Chelsea Clinton getting engaged is HEADLINE News?  Really?  Really?  Nobody cares.  It's not like she was some cute kid we all fell in love with when her daddy was getting blown the the Oval Office.  No!  We were all like really?  We gotta see the ugly brat again?  C'mon now.  Leave her alone and report the freakin' news!

Let's see, what else is stuck up in my craw this week?  Hmmm.....still pissed at Tiger.  He just released an apology on his website. FUCK!  I follow his blog.  I know right?

I received many an email wanting to know what the hell happened at Wal-Mart on Black Friday.  So I will tell you.

WAL-MART - WTF?  Every year I plot a course, a map if you will, via the ads from the paper on Thanksgiving.  It's a ritual.  I am anal retentive that way. (No comments from the peanut gallery necessary.  Moog this means you.)  Anypaper, I always go to Wal-Mart and Target.  Usually there are 3-4 things at both places.  Wal-Mart first.  Get in line at 4am.  Wait.  5am the feeding frenzy is unleashed and you fight with 10yr olds and beat up women with no teeth for the things you want.  Right?  So, this year, we went with certain things in mind, and get there only to find out that the doorbuster items that everyone is clamoring for have already been doled out.  WTF?  Are you kidding me?  No!  I do not jest about deals on Black Friday!  Ever.  It is like serious business my friends.  SERIOUS! BUSINESS!

Well, that's just about enough for one day! 

In happier news!  Happy Hump Day!