back to top html arrow button

Buh-Bye 09, Hello 10

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Adios 2009!  I am kicking you to the curb.  Each and every shitty bit of you!  Please don't take offense.  You earned a proper jackass send off.  Everything about 2009 sucked.  Except my sweet family, they were great, but everything else?  GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE!  Buh-BYE!  C-Ya!  Don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord split ya!

Well, now that I got that outta my system, I'm freakin' tired.  Whew!

Anykick, looking forward to something better, sweeter, more resolved in 2010.  So what does everyone do this time of year?  They make resolutions that let's face it, last about a week.  I don't think I have ever made New Year's Resolutions before.  Nope, not that I can remember.  I mean I make goals, but I do that all the time anyway.  And really?  I am way to ADD to make a YEAR LONG GOAL.  It would be ridiculous to think that I could even recall what my train of thought was a year later.  PUH-LEEEEEZE!

But I have put some thought into this and I think I have some resolutions. GASP!  WHA?  Did she just say resolutionS?  PLURAL?  YEP SHE DID!  Do not adjust your monitors.  You did read that right.   But before you all get your fancy pants, overall britches and pretty panties all bunched up....simmer down.  Let me 'splain it ya!

Here is my list:

I resolve to not sweat the small stuff.  (Not that my bitching about it will be any less, just not gonna sweat it.  Apparently there will be enough of that(sweating) going on when I am being whipped into shape by The Dominatrix aka Dual Mom)
I resolve to correct asshats walking in the outdoor (cause really, that shit pisses me off, and if they can't read I will direct them to the nearest adult literacy center.)
I resolve to eat less and exercise more. (Cause Dual Mom is an evil hooker whore and is forcing this diet shit down my throat.)
I resolve to blog it with attitude and up the ante on a regular basis. (Shock and awe people, shock and awe)
I resolve to clean my house more.  (Or get a job so I can hire someone to do it! Hey, I will be creating two jobs.  Bonus!  Just consider it me doing what I can to stimulate the economy!)
I resolve to produce a graduated adult and get her ass in college! (Love ya darling daughter but it's time for you to experience the great big WORLD.  Good Luck with that!)

Well I must say, that is about all the resolving I can do for the moment.  I may come up with more, but, for now, THAT IS ALL.

SO WELCOME 2010!  Don't let me down!
Let's ring it in bitches!

4....3.....2.....1 The Heat is On!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

First of all, I have quite a few new followers since the holiday and I want to roll out the red carpet and give them a proper welcome.  So welcome, welcome.  There are no rules here.  NONE.  I want to be upfront about the content here.  I would think it might be obvious, but sometimes Captain Obvious isn't easy to see.  It's not really his fault since he is all fit and trim and everything, you know, being that he is a Super Hero and all. (Duh!  All Super Heroes have to be fit and shit!)  Anycape, as I was stating, this is a no holds barred kind of blog.  I say what I think, and I make no apologies for it.

Well, sometimes I apologize.  It doesn't happen often, cause let's face it, I am seldom wrong.  Why you may be asking yourself?  Well, because for one thing, I am a Type A control freak personality, but second, and more importantly, I HATE TO BE WRONG.  So, if I can't speak to something with almost certainty, I don't speak to it at all.  CUZ I HATE TO BE WRONG.  But, if I am wrong, I'll suck it up and say so.  That said, I pretty much spew my OPINION on everything.  Just so we are clear, OPINIONS are never wrong.  They are merely that, one person's interpretation of reality, a view of life if you will.

One last thing.  While I like to talk pretty, use the ridiculous vocabulary I have acquired because I enjoy reading the dictionary, and try to make sure I keep grammatical errors(other than run-on sentences, LOVE them) to the bare minimum, cause that drives me completely batcrap crazy, I have a foul mouth.  I do.  It's inappropriate, and it's filth-flarring-filth-flarring filth(or so says Bill Cosby, according to Eddie Murphy).  So I warned you.

O.k.  Still here?  FANTASTIC.  Moving right along.

POST TITLE TOPIC.  You have 4 days bitches!  Count them with me, Wed, Thurs, Fri and Sat.  Because I am a forgiving mistress, unlike that mean nasty-get-your-fat-ass-in-shape Dual Mom, we will start on Sunday.  Why?  Well, I am OCD a bit, and the week starts with Sunday, so....we start then.  Deal?  I thought so.

So people, let's get real for a second.  This isn't just about losing weight, although, undoubtedly, we will all do that...together.  It's about getting healthy.  It's about getting fit.  Why?  Quality of life.  Quality of sex!  So we can enjoy activities with our kids more.  So our self esteem improves.  So we live longer.  So we keep our blood sugar in check.  So we don't have daily headaches.  So we don't need medication for high blood pressure due to obesity.  So we look ultra fabulous in that sexy little black dress with red stilettos.  You name it.  Check all that apply to you.  Whatever.  Some of us have a few on the list, some of us have more, some may check all of the above.  This is a support center.  Encouragement hub.  We can do it, if we all do it together.

So, because I love to cook, like....LOVE it.  I will be setting up another blog for recipes.  I will link at the bottom of every Lose It Bitches post with recipes for you all to use(if you want).  I will include calorie info and all that jazz.  Please let me know if you would like to contribute.

Please go visit Dual Mom over at We're at Dad's That Week.  She has a Final Countdown post up.  We were kicking around prizes and stuff over there, so offer your two cents.

And here is my goal for 2010.  I AM DROPPING 100 lbs.  You heard me right.  I know that is like a really huge number(so is my ass), and I know that is a lofty goal, and I know, I know, I know.  But, I will get there.  Eating healthy, exercise, and support will get me there.  And you too, whatever your goal might be.  But let's hear it.  Spill it.  WHAT IS YOUR GOAL?

Post-It Notes Tuesday

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

It's Tuesday, which means only one thing. Lots and lots of Post-It Notes all over Blogland.
Thanks to the ultra fabulous SupahMommy.
So join the FUN!
Grab the button.
Head over to this site and make your own post-its and get to postin'!
Then go to SupahMommy site and do the Mr. Linky thing so people can come and see yours too!
Yes, this is a show me yours and I'll show you mine, or whatevs...I suppose you pervy types can just be voyeuristic and look on from the corners if ya like.

SO, here we go.  Stick 'em if you got 'em!

Apparently Mr. Linky has been saving my info from a post a long time ago when I linked up to Cheesecake Mom, I promise people, I do post-it notes on Tuesday.  I am not linking up for no reason.

What a mug huh?  Your Dad must be so proud.  You are such an asshat!

Grab the button bitches!  Check out Dual Mom's post on prizes.  Vote for what you want.

Alright Lip Smackers!  Get your butts ready.  It's On Like Donkey Kong Come SATURDAY!!!!
We are in this together.  Here is wishing every single one of you health, wealth and happiness in 2010!
Soon to be Skinny
Think Tank Momma

I am It!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Tag:  I'm It!  BigSis over at Speaking of Witch tagged me.  She was tagged first and she followed the rules of the game so I guess I will follow through too.  The game?  10 Things That Make Me Happy

1.) Bubble Baths make me happy.  Just me, some music, some bubbles, warm water and something to drink.  Add a couple of candles and there really is no better recipe for relaxation in the world!

2.) Little kids laughter really is there ANYthing more contagious?  That laughter is the best sound on the planet.  You know what I am talking about, the kind you just want to bottle up and take with you for days when you are really down in the dumps.  That laughter makes me happy!

3.) Seeing KARMA in ACTION makes me SQUEEEEEEEEE with happiness.  Most often we don't get to see it come around.  But seriously, there is nothing better than seeing someone get what's coming to them.  If that makes me evil, then well, I guess I am.  But I do revel in seeing people who suck, get what's coming to them!

4.) MUSIC makes me happy.  It can take me back in time, take  me to the future, take me far far away!  I love music.  From the music of the 70s and 80s the music of my childhood to the 90s music of my crazy twenties.  I love it all!

5.) Mexican Food is ooey gooey goodness on a plate!  I could seriously eat it everyday and never tire of it.  Could there be anything better?  Really?

6.) Being Silly with The Hubs is almost the ultimate in happiness.  We are dorks to the core.  When we get our funny bones on, together....there is nothing that makes me more happy.  Two goobers just being well, GOOBERS!  Happiness is what that is!

7.) Playing with my Kids makes me happy.  You know, when the stars align, and the Gods smile on us just right, and they all wake up on the right side of the bed, and I am in just the right mood and sunshine, and rainbows make skittles fall from the sky.  That is HAPPINESS!

8.) Being Selfless is the ultimate in happiness.  Doing for others.  Serving others.  Giving a glimpse of happiness to those who would otherwise not know it. That is happiness that you can only know when you are serving others.

9.) SLEEP make me happy. I don't get peaceful uninterrupted sleep very often, so when I do, IT MAKES ME HAPPY!  Fellow insomniacs will agree with this one!

10.)  BLOGGING no explanation necessary!

So now to tag some others....I am supposed to tag 10.

Duckalicious  from BATCRAP CRAZY
Ed of Ed's Funny Pages
Cheesecake of Mad Boastings of a Cheapskate Mom
June aka Carol over at 3! Charm
Kristin That One Mom of The Chronicles of an Only Parent
Alex my Aussie friend at Whoa-Mummy!
Lily over at Tapdancing in the Dark because I gotta know what is on Lily's list!
Cameron of Conquer the Monkey
Hillbilly Duhn everyone knows Hillbilly Duhn's Times and Tribulations right?
Darla over at Hissy Fits and Halos

So there TAG, you all are IT!

Merry Chistmas to all my friends and family!

Friday, December 25, 2009

There are no words for me to convey, no words to explain, nothing that could articulate how full my heart is today.

No jokes today.  No humor here, though there is laughter and smiles as wide as the face can smile, love as full as the heart can fill.  I love my family.  I love my life.  I could not ask for more, except a few more months with my sweet long lost cousin Sean.  He is alone today, in NYC, I love you sweet friend, sweet cousin.  We have been robbed of so much, so many years. So much understanding, just us two.  I will miss you, my dear sweet, best friend, kindred spirit, BFF, accepting of every and all, friend.  We have but an abbreviated time to share our history, our everything.  Nothing else could be so unfair.  Rest my friend.  Rest.  I love you so, and I will miss you more than words can ever express.  We will see each other again, I promise.  Even if you don't believe.  I believe enough for both of us!  :D

Merry Christmas to you all.  My heart is full today with all the gifts of my life.  I wish you all peace, love and happiness.

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas to you with Love!
 Love and kisses!
Think Tank Momma

Phoning in a Merry Christmas.....

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas Eve Smackers!  Hope you all are enjoying some Christmas Spirits!  I have a funny phone conversation to share with you.  My sister will be pissed, but hey, what's family for if not blog fodder right?

Back information:  My sister has NO brain to mouth filter, like seriously, I AM TACTFUL by comparison.  That should give you some idea.  She has little boy humor down to an art form.  Burping, farting, poop talk, boogers, nastiness....  It's sad really.  Nevertheless, she finds that stuff humorous.  Her and her hubby talk about their bowel movements like it's normal dinner table conversation in every home.  GROSS!  (Look, I don't know about you, but I don't want to hear about turtle soup or making sculptures, yes that's typical poop talk to them, at the dinner table.)

Anycall, she rings me up.

Me:  Hello?
Sis: *Giggles*
Me:  Wassup?
Sis:  So, I was in the shitter and my husband called.  It's kind of a joke.  Every time he calls when I am at work I am in the shitter and he says I don't ever work.  He thinks all I do is sit on the pot all day.
Me:  Nice.  *insert sarcasm*
Sis:  So, anyway, I was just in the shitter and he called, so I called him back.
Me: Yeah?
Sis then relays this convo:
Sis:  Hey
Sis Hubs: Hey
Sis:  Sorry, I was in the shitter.
Sis Hubs: Okay.
Sis: Justin? (her step-son)
Sis Hubs:  No, I think you have the wrong number.  Merry Christmas! *click*
(She really had dialed the wrong number)
Me:  Well, who did you call?
Sis:  I have NO IDEA.
Hysterical laughter from both sides of the phone.

Hope this finds you all warm  and well on Christmas Eve.  I want to wish you all Merry Christmas with Love!

These are a few of My Favorite Things

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Well, it's Christmas...ALMOST. I am not really sure WTF? (see how I slipped that in since it's Wednesday?) My Favorite Things has to do with Christmas, or why it's a Christmas song, other than it was Christmas time in The Sound of Music, or whatever. Anysong, since it's are my favorite NO PARTICULAR ORDER....

Elephants.  I love them.  Really what a majestic creature.  And they remember everything.  Kinda like moi.  And they are revered as good luck in many Asian countries.  Love them.

Kisses and snuggles with my kiddos. No explanation necessary.

Laughing.  I love to laugh.  Thankfully my life is full of it (laughter not the other thing associated with full of it!).  Best medicine in the world.  Seriously!

Diet Coke.  Give me an IV, I love it!

My Chihuahuas.  They love me, I love them.  It's a ChiLOVEFest up in La Casa del Romano.  (They don't realize they live in an Italian house...Shhh!  Don't tell them please...they will have some kinda melt down.  We do tell them Feliz Navidad!)

Chic flicks.  (Don't judge.  This is my list.  I like what I like.  If you want a list make your own.)

Blogging.  Reading them, writing them, loving all over them.  Yes really, I don't do this for any other reason.  Well, except for the whole attention whore thing, but I think we have covered that before.

Television.  I love it.  Love it.  I tape so much crap on my DVR.  Oooo...add that to the list here too!  I LURVE my DVR.

American Idol.  (SHUTYERPIEHOLES!)

Tyler Florence....*sigh*

Joshua Jackson.....*sigh*

Dates with the hubs.  Nothing better than just the two of us.  Out to dinner.  Adult conversation.  Holding hands (yes we PDA) (Shut it!) kisses.  Just being best friends.  I truly am the happiest wifey wife in the world!


Cinderella.  I don't want to hear it.  I love her.  I own like a gazillion Barbies, porcelain dolls, plates, crystal shoes, etc....(Note to Disney:  Please stop putting all the princess bitches on my Cinderella stuff.  I only like her, thanks so much!)


Calvin Klein fragrances.

Red shoes.

Really good chocolates.

Tinis...any will do.

BLING!  I love shiny, sparkly, shiny, sparkly....BLING!


Crackberry chatting....

(Notable mentions:  ninjas, monkey, vampire books, music, Alec Baldwin circa 1993, 80s movies, Geico Gecko, vanilla ice cream, cookies)

Merry Christmas everyone!

Post-It Note Tuesday: Holiday Luvin'

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

It's Tuesday, which means only one thing.  Lots and lots of Post-It Notes all over Blogland.
Thanks to the ultra fabulous SupahMommy.
So join the FUN!
Grab the button.
Head over to this site and make your own post-its and get to postin'!
Then go to SupahMommy site and do the Mr. Linky thing so people can come and see yours too!
Yes, this is a show me yours and I'll show you mine, or whatevs...I suppose you pervy types can just be voyeuristic and look on from the corners if ya like.

So here we go!

Hope you are not easily offended.  Think Tank Momma sometimes needs a brain to mouth filter which her ADD seems to misplace....OFTEN!


Looky what I got for us!



Well folks, that completes another Tuesday Post-It Notes.  I really wish you and your families joy and happiness through the holidays.  Be Safe!

Memoir Monday: Party Like It's 1999

Monday, December 21, 2009

First things first.  I love my Lip Smackers.  That is you, my sweet lovely little readers!  So I am counting on you guys to go HERE and vote for Adrienzgirl(that's me) so I can win $50 gift card.  I am unemployed after all!  :D

Now, it's time for Memoir Monday, sponsored by our one and only TravyG over at I Like to Fish.


The year is 1999, and there is mass hysteria and anticipation for the ball to drop.  Obviously the world is ending and all computers are going to stop working and production of all the computerized manufactured products are going to cease working and OMG! the world is going to blow up (No worries though, all the important shit is made in China by people and they don't have computer chips, yet.).  Everybody remember that?  Probably the biggest let down since the first sexual experience of your life right??
So for the big New Year's Bash and the turn of the century, my girlfriend, her ex-husband and I went out on the town.  We decided to go to The Landing in Jacksonville.  It is right on the St. John's River and where we were promised THE best fireworks show in the history of the world.  O.K.  Not the history of the world, but certainly the history of Jacksonville.  

After shuffling through all the people packed into The Landing we decide to walk across the Main Street Bridge and head over to River City Brewery.  They have a cool balcony and deck where we can find the primo spot to watch THE fireworks show!  As the night gets closer and closer to the big moment, by bladder seems to be getting fuller and fuller.  Did I mention how many people there were?  Did I mention it was supposed to be THE Fireworks Display to end all fireworks displays?

So it's like 20 minutes till THE big show and well, I gotta go.  There is no holding it.  I squeeze my way through the sardine sea of people and make it to the LLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE.
OMG!  The line is definitely like 45 minutes long.  Literally.  If I stand in this line I will miss THE fireworks.  Shit.  Double Shit!  I lament with a couple of the girls.  We watch the men's line moving like greased lightning.  The wait is maybe 5 minutes.  Some of the girl's say that they wish they were ballsy enough to use the men's room.  SCHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!  Ballsy chic?  Check!

Step to the left.  That's me!  I get in the men's line.  Fuck it!  I am not missing THE fireworks display to end all fireworks displays.  I should probably tell you, I am like the biggest freak about fireworks on the planet.  We do them at home now, and I spend a RIDICULOUS amount of money on fireworks.  Seriously, it's a problem.  I have a VIP card to Phantom and everything.  Anyflush, standing in the men's line.  The guy behind me hands me a $10 bill.  He says give this to the attendant at the door and don't let him give you any shit!  I get to the door.  The attendant looks at me up and down.  Raises an eyebrow.  I show him my recently acquired cash.  He holds out his white gloved hand.  I hand over the bill.  YEAH!  No problems.  I take the one open stall.  I hear many of the guys belly aching about a chic in the bathroom while they are at the urinals.  I'm guessing those are the guys worried about the size of the itty bitties, I could care less.  I just peed!

I hurry out.  Wash my hands, obviously there is no line for that.  Men's room.  I just want to say, it's totally gross that you guys don't wash your hands, but that is another story all together.  I high five the guy who gave me the cut in line and the $10.  I smile and wave at the dumbasses still standing in the ladies line who thought I wouldn't dare be THAT ballsy.

I squeezed my way back to the top of the balcony.  That was a feat let me tell you.  People were pissed giving me dirty looks, shoving me back.  Look, I just peed in the men's room.  You are so not keeping me down!  I made it back to my friends.  I had 2 minutes to spare.  Sheeeeesh!  I SAW THE FIREWORKS SHOW!  Woot!

Well, that's how I rang in the 21st century!  How bout you?  Any crazy New Year's stories?

Have a lovely and very Merry Christmas if you are gone the rest of the week my sweets!!!

Bling! Bling! Bling!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

I have been remiss my lovely lip smackers!  For those of you who are new here, WELCOME!  I love lip smackers and hot talkers!  Trading wit and talkin' smack are two of Think Tank Momma's favorite things.  AND, Momma loves Bling! (aka shiny things and bloggy awards!!)

I have added some to my collection, and I need to say thank you.  I am also supposed to follow some rules and stuff, and well, yeah rules are made to be BROKEN!  While I have grown up to be a somewhat productive and responsible adult, some habits die hard.  Breaking the rules and being rebellious?  Well, what can I say, somewhere deep down in the core of the fiber of my being, I AM REBELLIOUS!  And we all know, when the rebel yells, she cries more more more!  (Anyone who doesn't get that song reference is probably too young to read this blog!)

So hold on to your hats sweet peeps, let the thank yous and applause commence.

I received the following from The NinjaJew aka TripleH aka The Queen aka Lee over at Headaches, Hotflashes & Hormones.  She is thoughtful and kind and leaves comments everywhere, and she is my Crackberry buddy!  :D  I heart her and you should too.

And my sweet friend Erin over at The Mother Load who is one of my favorite reads, gave me an award.  She is sweet, and sassy, and a brilliant writer!  She shares bits and pieces of her life in such an honest way, and I love her for it!

Next up, my friend Corrie of Just Because My Pickle Talks Doesn't Make Me an Idiot gave me a friends award.  Corrie's blog is named for a phrase her son Jonathan said.  Jonathan has Asperger's Syndrome which is a form of Autism and Corrie chronicles the ups, downs and in betweens of raising him.  He is quite funny and remarkably brilliant.  Please go see her if you don't know her already, get to know Jonathan, it will be worth your time, I promise.

Miss Kate over at Busted Plumbing gave me the following:

Kate and her husband Adam, both blog about their struggles with infertility.  They have a very sweet and  tart wit about their writing that I have fallen in love with.

I also received the Happy 101 award above from Noelle over at Elastic waistbands and Comfortable shoes.  Noelle is HI-FREAKIN-LARIOUS.  Do you hear me?  What are you waiting for, I said she is FUNNY!

Then there is the one and only Duckalicious, so dubbed by Moi.  What can I say?  I <3 her!  She is truly one of the funniest women I know, and she is my darling BBB! (Bestestest Bloggy Buddy)

Last but certainly not least, I received the Rosie Award from

Of course I love her, look at the award.  It's ROSIE, from The Jetsons!  How awesome is that?  Not nearly as awesome as she is!

NOW, I won myself a little piece of BLING that I am so freaking stoked about, I can't stand it!  I love Caption This! contests.  And I always think that I am funny, but I never win.  WELL NO MORE MY FRIENDS!  I won the coveted Golden Phallus from The Screaming Me-Me!  That's right, I am that badass!
Isn't it beautiful, in the most blingarific way ever?  It's o.k.  You can be jealous! I have created another award for my special Lip Smackers.  What did they do to receive this award you might be asking yourselves?  I will tell you.  They come to my little tank, they read my smack, and they comment.  They leave me juicy tidbits to make me smile and I love them for it.  So please give a big round of applause for the following folks:

Duckalicious at BATCRAP CRAZY
Moog at Mental Poo
Cameron at Conquer the Monkey
Alex at Whoa Mumma!
Nancy at Away We Go
Dame Nuisance of Black Holes & Macrame
blueviloet of A Nut in a Nutshell
Aunt Juicebox of Bacon Is My Lover
Gayle of Gramme's Blog
Iva from Iva Messy
Shell from Things I Can't Say

So I know that is a lot of people, but they are all regular bloggy love (comments) leavers.  They visit me either daily or several times a week, and they leave me comments.  And obviously, being the attention whore that I am, I love it!  So, this is my little way of saying love you back!

If you are not listed above, and you leave me love, I omitted you inadvertently.  Let me know so I can remedy that!  QUICK!  If you are new here, no worries, I like making awards for my peeps, I will do this again soon.  :D

Lots of love to you all!

Merry Christmas!