WTF? Wednesday

How cool is that pic huh?  New here at my place.  WTF? Wednesday  I am not sure if I will stick with this, but holy shit, it's a great idea right?  I often have those weeks where everything is just WTF? worthy you know?  So without further ado.

TIGER - WTF?  We all love you.  We all thought this is the real deal.  Awesome golfer. Best ever.  Awesome family man.  Screeeeeeeeeeeech!  Not so fast?  WTF?  I supported you.  I even chastised my fellow bloggers for jumping to conclusions too early(sorry Cameron).  And now they are coming out of the woodwork?  Like someone turned on the lights and the little filthy roaches just scamper out and run!  DAMNIT Tiger!

ABC - WTF?  You preview a cool new awesome Christmas special.  The kids are excited.  The hubs is giddy like a school girl.  I am freakin' stoked.  Then you let it be preempted by The President?  WTF?  Not cool.  You better play that shit again!  My kids and the hubs are pissed!  For real!

Victoria Secret - WTF?  A $3M dollar bra? What. The. Fuck?  Why?  Just why?  I mean sexy I get.  Sparkly I get.  But,  I cannot ever get paying THREE MILLION DOLLARS for undergarments.  Now, if someone were to say, bling out some fabulous shoes.  That I get.  You could put those bitches on.  Strut around town, say, NYC.  Watch as all the girls drooled, and gasped, and drooled, and sighed.  You would hear "Hello luvahs...." and even hear the audible swooning.  BUT a BRA?  It's an undergarment for crying out loud!

NEWS Agencies - WTF?  Chelsea Clinton getting engaged is HEADLINE News?  Really?  Really?  Nobody cares.  It's not like she was some cute kid we all fell in love with when her daddy was getting blown the the Oval Office.  No!  We were all like really?  We gotta see the ugly brat again?  C'mon now.  Leave her alone and report the freakin' news!

Let's see, what else is stuck up in my craw this week?  Hmmm.....still pissed at Tiger.  He just released an apology on his website. FUCK!  I follow his blog.  I know right?

I received many an email wanting to know what the hell happened at Wal-Mart on Black Friday.  So I will tell you.

WAL-MART - WTF?  Every year I plot a course, a map if you will, via the ads from the paper on Thanksgiving.  It's a ritual.  I am anal retentive that way. (No comments from the peanut gallery necessary.  Moog this means you.)  Anypaper, I always go to Wal-Mart and Target.  Usually there are 3-4 things at both places.  Wal-Mart first.  Get in line at 4am.  Wait.  5am the feeding frenzy is unleashed and you fight with 10yr olds and beat up women with no teeth for the things you want.  Right?  So, this year, we went with certain things in mind, and get there only to find out that the doorbuster items that everyone is clamoring for have already been doled out.  WTF?  Are you kidding me?  No!  I do not jest about deals on Black Friday!  Ever.  It is like serious business my friends.  SERIOUS! BUSINESS!

Well, that's just about enough for one day! 

In happier news!  Happy Hump Day!

Think Monday is not for Happy Shiny People

I woke this morning, like any other.  I woke the boys, got them off to school.  There was a whirlwind through the house, like always.  There is typically a bit more angst on Monday mornings than other days of the week, simply because short term memory with ADD children and moms is worsened when you consider there were two whole days where we didn't care about backpacks and the like.

This didn't bother me.  I was for all intensive purposes in a fairly chipper mood for a Monday.  My FB post was even nauseating for a Monday morning. (Good morning!  Good Morning!  It's time to say Good Morning!)  See, sick, I know.  I had several errands to run today.  I got dressed, even did my makeup.  See good mood.  I got the stuff I had to drop off at the post office, I didn't forget my list of things I needed at the store, I was uncharacteristically really "together" when I left the house.  The sun was shining and I was off to conquer the day.

I get to the post office and I can't find any stamps in my purse.  I am digging and digging while sitting in neutral in front of the little blue box.  Then someone pulled in behind me, and honked, so I pulled into a parking spot and went inside.  He gave me a dirty look and and nice one finger wave, but whatever, I was not going to let one A**hole ruin my said togetherness.  I mailed the letter, life was good.

So the hubby had given me a list of necessities he needed, like razors, deodorant, soap, etc.  I debated, but I gave in.  I was going to just go to Publix and pay a little more, because that's what I am used to doing, but, given that I am still not working, I bit the bullet and headed to Wal-Mart.

When I got there I thought, hey, this is great.  Not too crowded, not too many crazies, I can do this.  I got all the things on the hubby's list and then it happened.  I heard what sounded like a screeching owl.   Every few seconds.  What the hell is that I said to myself?  And then it occurred to me.  I said, "Self that is a child!"  OMG!  Somebody shut that off!  Every few seconds.  Every corner of the store I went to.  "Screech!"  "Squawk!" " Screech!"  I started shopping faster.  I needed some groceries but if I had to listen to that much longer, I was going to crack.  I was in the spice/baking aisle huffing and puffing trying to keep both my sanity and composure.  This lady looked at me with furrowed brow, "You looking for something in particular?"  I look at her like she is possibly from another planet and say, "Do you not hear that?"  She looks at me and says, "I know, that poor Mom."  I turned around and ran before I took my frustration out on that woman.

ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS LADY?  THAT POOR MOM?  I don't know about you, but my children have NEVER done that in public, AND if they got anywhere near close to showing their butts in public like THAT, they would RUE the day.  POOR LADY?  WTF?  I have never seen or heard a fit like that before, and I am telling you, it wasn't a mild fit that lasted minutes because the behavior was corrected, oh NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!  It went on, and on, and ON, and ON, and ON!

I forgot the freakin' milk in my rush to get the hell out of there.  AND then when I got out the door, all my pretty happy Monday sunshine was GONE. G-O-N-E, gone!  It was raining.  I got soaked.  My hair curled up all over my head.  So much for all that blow drying.  Make up was running.  Wasted that 15 minutes.

So, that's what  I get for trying to trump and overcome the typical Monday doldrums.  It came, and it went.

Happy F$%(^ing Monday!