I was telling my girlfriends this evening, I am in a funk. I am pissy. Which is not to say I am pissed off, you know in general. Just pissy. Like little things that normally wouldn't irritate me, they irritate me. Don't get me wrong, lots of stuff irritates me on a daily basis, even when I am not pissy.
So I thought I would make a list of things that irritate me, even when I am not pissy. General things that I think most people should KNOW, but don't. Or perhaps they do and they are just stupid. I used to say I was a people person, but then I discovered the majority of the world's population is stupid. I have about zero tolerance for stupidity. Seriously. I don't like stupid people. So, you can see how this would adversely affect my ability to be a people person right? Right.
I've digressed. Back to the list. 1.) Why do people enter through the EXIT door? The ENTRANCE and EXIT doors at the grocery store, Walmart, Target, etc. are CLEARLY marked. Can they not read? Do they not care? WHY? What's worse, they will give those of us who can read, dirty looks when we are entering and exiting as is appropriate.
2.) Using words/shitty grammar. Let me explain before you all start going off on me. I know I use made up words and I am fond of run on sentences and broken phrases. I'm a writer, it's creative license for the love of Pete. I am talking about people who stopped trying to master the English language at around 5 years old. Those people who use words like tooken. Words like learnt. Like idear. There is no "R" in idea damnit! Alls. Um, all is "all" inclusive. It's already plural, dumbass. Double negatives? Almost make my head explode. "I don't need no grammar lessons."
3.) Driving 5 miles below the speed limit in the fast lane. MOVE THE EFF OVER. You are slow in more ways than one.
4.) People who call me, on my phone, at my number and ask "who's this?". Um...you called me. My response is always, "Who the hell is this?"
5.) People who call me and when I answer ask me to "hold on". Um...NO. I didn't call you. You called me, and interrupted what I was doing. If you don't have time to talk to me, the person YOU just called, hang up and try later, when you have time. If I have time, perhaps I will take your call.
6.) People who call me to answer a text, that requires a yes or no. If I wanted to "talk" to you, I would have called you. Just answer the TEXT. 7.) People who let their children SCREAM at the TOP OF THEIR LUNGS in public. Really? Look, I am a mom, and I know that you can tune that shit out, but seriously, must you subject the rest of us to what has taken you months or years to to learn to tune out? Take that child to the restroom and correct the problem. Take them to the car and correct the problem. I don't care where you take them, just take them somewhere and correct the problem.
8.) Teenagers. No explanation necessary.
9.) Elisabeth Hasselbeck. No explanation necessary.
10.) When fast food restaurants "train" new people to work the drive-thru window during lunch or dinner rush.
Well, there's my 10 Things I Hate About You for today. It really isn't 10 things I hate about you, my Smackers. Just "people". I may have to do this again. It really was cathartic. Feel free to share THINGS you hate about "people".
The Smack Talker
I'm a fast talkin', smack talkin', food lovin', recipe writin', ADHD sufferin', joke tellin', wit swappin', SNARKTASTIC mommy of five. I married Prince Charming who just so happens to be a Star Wars geek, and we are living happily ever after. I tend to over share, lose my cool and make rash generalizations. I'm teaching my kids to love everyone and appreciate all things. Did I mention I love FOOD?