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Thank You Note Tuesday: Fry some Gratitude add a Pinch of Attitude

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Think Tank Momma






It's Tuesday!  Time to cook up some Gratitude.  Add a pinch of attitude.  Hell, throw a whole handful in the recipe if you like.  Let those special people, places or things in your life know just how much you are thankful for their ineptness.  Don't hold back.  Everyone needs a fuckyouverymuch thankyouverymuch who crosses your path and hasn't learned the golden rule, Do Unto Others.

Dear Nurse McBitchy,
Thank you so much for your piss and vinegar attitude kind and understanding care while my scared teenager was in labor this week.  You truly made sure she won't be doing that again anytime soon, or ever.  Thank you for blowing three of her veins before asking someone else to help you perform the simplest of nursing tasks.  Hell, she probably didn't need those veins anyway.  I am not really sure how exactly you ended up on the Labor and Delivery unit of the hospital, but we certainly couldn't have asked for a bigger fucking bitch more kind and compassionate nurse given the circumstances.  Thank you for your condescending warm dulcet tone while explaining rules and regulations to me.  Obviously I have never been in a delivery room before.  Those children, including the one lying in the bed, in labor, yeah, I didn't bear them myself.   I must have picked them up at the store where you buy children.  We sure did appreciate you sitting her newly stitched hooha in a wheelchair while you dilly dallied around with whatever the hell you were doing for 45 minutes too.  Yeah, that definitely drove home the point that she didn't want to do this again EVER.  
Sincerely,
Pissed Off Over Protective New G-Momma

Dear BitchAssHo Scale,
Thanks for keeping your whore mouth shut this week.  Don't look at me that way either you skank.  I will step on you next week when I have had time to undo the damage of fast food.  SHUT IT!  I was in the hospital and you gotta do what you gotta do.
See you soon,
Back on Track Shortly 

Dear HideMyAss.com Visitors,
Thanks so much for visiting my site while trying to play coy.  You aren't fooling anyone.  Least of all me.  You are welcome anytime.  Read my snark.  Take it to heart.  Own that shit.  Guess what?  You just keep sending those visit stats up.  Thanks for your support.  Thanks for being....um...how shall we say this kindly....BALL LESS Spine Less.  Anonymity is a wonderful thing if you aren't man or woman enough to show yourself.  Let me say this, I am me, all the time, all straight up.  No filters.  No editing.  No sugar coating.  If you are hiding your identity what does that say about you?  Hmmm?  Thanks for reminding me that keeping it real is why I love being me.
Fuckyouverymuch,
Sitemeter Monitoring Momma




Well that's what Think Tank Momma cooked up with her handful of attitude this week.  What is your recipe for SMACK TALKIN' Thank You Notes? Write it out.  Link up.  CLEANSE YOUR PALATE.

36 comments:

The Blue Zoo said...

Why do nurses who suck always end up in labor and delivery?? When I had my oldest I had some pretty bitchy nurses. In fact I drove 1 1/2 hours away to have my twins!

Hope you make peace with your scale next week!

ScoMan said...

I hope you let the hospital know about the nurses poor performance. Even if you haven't yet, just write to them and let them know.

Hopefully it can prevent others from having to tolerate the same treatment.

WolfePartyOf5 said...

I suck at this comment thing - I am determined to be a lurker for the rest of my life (prolly explains why I only have 14 followers on my my own blog) I suck and I know it.

Sorry your nurse was a complete bitch.... totally makes one of the biggest moments in your life kinda shitty

Secretia said...

You are probably the busiest Momma-Grandma in the world right now!
Take it slow, don't get overwhelmed in responsibility, you can handle it if you take it easy.
You set the pace and it becomes your race!

Secretia

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Are those losers still coming by?? Geez...they need to seriously get a life!!

leigh said...

Whoa...I would be scared after that last Thank You note BUT I'll be brave and tell you that I think that you well your snarkiness well. Now, please don't hurt me.

Discovered you over at that crack whore comment place.

Dual Mom said...

Is the nurse mysteriously missing now? I can't imagine you letting anyone away with that crap. There's always one though, isn't there?

Hope babe is doing well!

Aunt Buffee :) said...

Hey now, I've been "stocking" your blog trying to see pics of my new niece. . . . So it might be me, but I'm not trying to hide my identity or anything? I just don't know anything about blogging or being anonymous? I'm just saying. . . . it could be me! So post some pictures of my new favorite ("baby") niece! I'll be out to visit as soon as my truck is fixed!

BigSis said...

Hi, I'm here. Please don't hurt me. I'm a good guy :)

MindyMom said...

I had a horrible LDR nurse for my third kiddo. Really tanks the experience.

But CONGRATS!!!

Love that last thank you note too. Some people huh?

Daffy said...

Hidemyass.com was my favorite one today. That must be one HELLUVA website if it can actually hide the ENTIRE ass of your 'visitors'....justsayin

I think I'm finally close to feeling healthy again. I'll be back full swing in this blogging and BB Chatting thing :O) I've missed you guys!

June said...

McBitchy should have been slapped.

Nothing makes my day than a good "Keeping it real" followed by a good "Fuckyouverymuch"

Travis said...

You don't buy kids at the store?

Holy shit. Listen. Am I going to get in trouble for just taking this little Asian kid from aisle 8 in Wal-Mart?

I looked everywhere for a damn barcode, and finally I just stuck him in the cart.

He was SO CUTE! I just had to have him...are those sirens?

Quirkyloon said...

"dulcet tone"

That actually sounds like it should be a good thing, but I'm gonna take a wild stab (no vein blowing pun intended) and say it's not!

And...thank you so much for calling it a hooha instead of a vajayjay. Vajayjay is sooooo yesterday, ya know?

singedwingangel said...

OOOH I had a nurse like that with my second child, and my 3rd delivery after she blew 3 veins I threatened her head with an IV pole, for crying out loud I was dilated to 9 already not like there was much I needed one for.. I want to kow how to see who has been at my site.. I cannot get google analytics to work which is driving me cuckoo.. oh wait I am already cuckoo lol ..

Ed Adams said...

You had me at Hooha.

Shell said...

I thought you might be too busy to post! Hope you are enjoying cuddling that new little one.

Angelia said...

Good gods you are a funny lady! Sounds like most have an L&D nurse like that, I'm no exception. My scale-also a bitchassho. And a liar, I'm sure of it.

mama-face said...

You're a G-Momma?!!!! YAY!

Yep, I'm all about the happy today. You got it take it while I have it to give. :)

Just Another Momma said...

I tried to get on my scale Sunday. It bitch slapped me.

Lizzy and Elle said...

Congrats on baby!!

btw we took stuff

Nancy C said...

I had a good L&D nurse both times, but I was less than thrilled when they brought in FIVE community college nursing students to observe my first labor. Ummm....ever consider asking me first? It's a small town, and I've since seen one around town. She knows I know that she's seen my hoo-hah.

Corrie Howe said...

So are mom and baby home? Does she have a lot of bruising in the spot for the needles?

I had surgery to remove some hardware put in to fix my ankle. Something, seven pokes, three nurses including the head nurse. Finally the doctor put me under and he did it. My arm hurt worse than the surgery.

Jaclynn_kyuss said...

Checkout my note:

http://jaclynnkyuss.blogspot.com/2010/02/thank-you-note-tuesday.html

Danielle said...

How could you be around beautiful babies all day and be mean to anyone unless it was some women that drank or did drugs all the way through her pregnancy. Babies make me giddy with happiness!

Danielle said...

How could you be around beautiful babies all day and be mean to anyone unless it was some women that drank or did drugs all the way through her pregnancy. Babies make me giddy with happiness!

Erin said...

Oh man, a nurse can either make or break a birthing experience. I am so sorry that happened. What a beeeeatch!

And you have enough on your plate right now---the diet can be paused/put on hold. You have bigger fish to fry, honey!!! Go easy on yourself!

;-)

blueviolet said...

So you're a Grandma now???? Girl, boy, big, small, what's up???

Mrsblogalot said...

Did that nurse really live to see another day?

Really?

(-:

Epskee said...

Some people use anonymous servers to bypass their work's content-blockers. Just sayin'

But mostly people use them to be idiots.

(smart people just use google reader and remain off your stat counter entirely!)

Tracie said...

We have a motto at work. Nurses are mean. We don't let the nurses know our motto because we're scared of them.

gayle said...

I know you wanted to give that nurse a piece of your mind. I know I would have!!

Hope your little ones are doing good!! Tiny babies are such hard work. I hope you are taking care of You too!! Even though you didn't give birth this has been a very stressful time for everyone.

My weight was up this week..Vday..I guess. Crap ...I am not posting it. I haven't done very well this week so far.

ok let's get busy and try to do better ...we have a few more days. We can do it!!

Hissyfits & Halos said...

Out of my 11 combined days in the L&D I never had a bad nurse. You would think they would screen these wenches for personality issues before putting them in with hormonal women....oh, and the pregnant ones, too! ;)

Getting any sleep? ;) How's the tar diapers? Stinky much? *insert evil "I don't have to change poo anymore" laugh here*

Meeko Fabulous said...

Some nurses are fucking bitches. I think you should make a couple of phone calls to that hospital . . . So no one else has to go through that.

LMJ said...

wow...that bitch made sure you knew her opinion on your daughter more than actually helping her. wow...not surprised.

I had this one nurse with the finger from hell...I don't know why but it was always so painful when she would check on my cervix. Everyone else was gentle and careful, but this bitch put her finger in there as if it was her own asshole, or something!

Laura said...

Unfortunately I have come across several nurses who take a poor attitude with teen Moms. It's horrible & they should be fired. Being one myself I know it is difficult enough as it is without judgement on that day.