Dear Anonymous.....

Well many of you know, that if nothing else, I am honest. Probably to a fault, brutally even.  I put it out there, and I stand by it.  I don't give two shits if you like it or lump it.  A while back, I posted that I am THE Anti-ChristSAHM, for those of you living under a rock SAHM is Stay at Home Mom.  When I did, I made reference to my ex-husband's wife over at Chattywife.com and the post "Step Wives Club".

I basically threw her and Mommy Groups under the proverbial bus.  

Anyway, she apparently found the post.  I don't know if she noticed the link tie, or finally looked at a site traffic meter, or referral meter, or Googled me(most likely she is nosy like that), but whatever the reason, she found the post.  Then, in perfect Chattywife form she emailed it out to all her friends, with I'm sure, an email from hell, about the gall of me, and how dare I, and lots of not nice names.  Fast forward......I am monitoring site traffic and see all these hits coming in from email.  Hmmm...curious.  Further discovery into site traffic.  Ah...there you are, I see you Chattywife admin.  Not 10 minutes later, the swarming in the tank started.

They came, they looked, and then I am sure there were some iPhones blowing up with email, texts and the like.  But comments?  Nope, until.  Anonymous.  Anonymous posts, and I quote verbatim, "you sound like a jealous ex-wife."  Really?  Really?  That is what you are gonna go with?  That was the best you could come up with, seriously?

Jealous of what?  A man I kicked to the curb.....18 years ago?  Are you fucking serious?  Kicked to the curb for cheating on me...while I was pregnant, with someone he worked with?  Oooo...I am sensing a theme.  He worked with her.  Oh, he worked with the third wife too.  Oh, wait for it, he worked with Chattywife too.  Why on earth would I be jealous?

So let's clear the air shall we?

Dear Anonymous,

Fuck no, I am not jealous.  Ex-wife, that I am.  For good cause, please see above.

Now, I know that you probably know Chatty and her hubby personally, and you are just sticking up for her, and feeling all indignant because I talked about your beloved Mommy Groups like that.  I know that I called you all catty, and a grown-up version of Romper Room highschool.    I was simply stating the obvious. (Geez.....there is even a Tostito's commercial making fun of Mommy Groups, everyone thinks you are ridiculous.)

The whole concept, a place to say what we really think, to me is ridiculous.  Why can't you say what you really think all the time?  Why hide behind anonymity?  Why pretend that life is all peachy and rosy in day to day life, and face to face, and then get on-line and grow a back bone?  Why sit around and talk about husbands like they are an accessory, and something you have to deal with?  

Hey, here is a tip, find a partner who is in fact, a partner.  Someone who loves and adores you.  Someone with whom you enjoy spending time.  Someone who enriches your life.  Someone who is your best friend, lover and confidant.  But then, that would really require that you be yourselves wouldn't it?  You know, as opposed to pretending to be something you are not.

HEY, here is another tip.  If you have to lie to your friends and husbands about what you really feel/think, then they don't really know you.  Which means, you have no real friends.  If you are afraid someone won't like you if you express yourself, then you can never know true happiness.  Most people withhold or lie when they don't like or agree with what others say or feel, for fear of being ostracized or worse, not liked.  I, on the other hand, don't want to be placated to.  Tell me the fucking truth.  Saves me a whole lot of grief.  Because, ultimately, your true self will come out, and then we will have wasted days, weeks, months, even years thinking that we were compatible, when we weren't even remotely similar.  Then there will be some sort of dramatic climatic falling out and we could've avoided the whole damn thing by being honest in the first fucking place.  Right?  Right!

Since I am handing out tips, I have one more for you.  When you sit around and gossip about the other friends, mommies in your group who don't happen to be there with you, do you ever think to yourself that they do the same thing when you are absent?  Hmmm....

So, I leave you with this little bit of wisdom, Anonymous, if you want to take issue with me, man up, grow a set, and show yourself.  I can trade wit, snark, and insults with the best of them, and I will do it with my real name and no false pretenses.

Sincerely,

Think Tank Momma aka Adrienzgirl

Brandee

P.S.  I really don't know what the big deal is, if nothing else I am driving traffic to her site, and we all know, the more traffic the better your page ranking right?

Think "Anti-SAHM"

Alrighty, here we go.  You ready?  This is gonna be one of those posts that will insight riots.  Can't you tell just by the title?  Some have said of me in the past, in reference to my inability to hold back, that I possibly have diarrhea of the mouth.  Yes, that's right!  Can you believe the gall of some people?

Anyway, I have been in the closet for some time now.  Living with shame.  But, today I have found a bit of moxie and I think that I can find my voice and share with others.  I am stepping out and say it loud and proud!
I don't like children.  I don't.  Well, actually I don't like other people's children.  AND, I don't like being a stay at home mom.  I would rather go to work.  Spend my day amongst the adults.  Have meaningful conversations about politics, and the economy, and deadlines and work.

God that was liberating!  I feel GREAT!

So, I should say, I love my children.  I do!  It's a love that only another mother could fathom.  It's unexplainable, there are no words.  None that can capture what a joy and rapture a mom feels when she looks at her children.  Having said that, I do not have the mommy gene that makes me jump for joy when my babies did their first doodies.  The only cool thing about POOP is that it is a palindrome and backwards or forwards it is the same.  Also, I am elated at the end of an evening when it's bedtime and they go to sleep.  I have been known to respond when people tell me that my children are "so cute", with "yeah, when their sleeping!"

Anti-SAHM, let me go further with this and explain.  I think Mommy groups are for the socially inept.   Why do you need a community of others to ask common sense questions like, what is an appropriate bedtime for children?  Weren't you a child once?  Didn't you have a freakin' bedtime?  Did you suffer severe head trauma as a small child and forget what time you were told was appropriate?  Or, why is it necessary to consult with other new moms about what your child should be doing at each monthly stage.  All children are different and they progress at their own pace.  You take your child to the pediatrician to make sure they are reaching the milestones they are supposed to, they are called well baby checkups.  Duh!  Do you not trust the doctor who went to medical school, who paid all that good money to get educated?  Surely he is a better source to consult than the 30 something year old lady who thinks your child is behind because hers started walking at 8 months and yours didn't until he was 10 months. 

My mom never joined one of these groups.  She didn't set up "play dates" for us.  We went outside and played with the neighbors.  If you don't live in a neighborhood where you feel comfortable letting your children play with the neighbors, and you have to ship in children from a Mommy group, perhaps YOU have issues.  I mean really, WTF?  Perhaps you should move to another neighborhood where the class of people is better suited for your snobbery.

Don't misunderstand me, I do not have any problems with stay at home moms who love their job.  I think it's fabulous that there are women that are living their dream of being a wife, and mother and homemaker.  I respect those women who Homeschool their kids to protect them from the woes of the world.  That allow their children to be shielded from the tragedy that is the world we live in.  I would never mock THEM.

I however, have no use for the likes of my "step-wife".  That's right, the moniker my ex-husband's wife has dubbed me with.  Can I just say?  CRAZY!  She has a blog where she and her other mommy group followers talk about their husbands, how they have sex when they don't want to to make sure they(the hubs) don't go elsewhere), confess things like they spy on others on Facebook, and the list goes on.  It's like a grown up Romper Room version of highschool.  Catty!  If they are the stereotypical SAHMs and Mommy Groups....I am The Anti-ChristSAHM.  (NOTE:  I am not the one she is calling friend, that would be the third wife.  I was the first wife.  The one with the blog...NUMBER FOUR)

I want to say this before all of you start firing off nasty-grams I LOVE MY CHILDREN, and I LOVE MY HUSBAND, and I am thankful for the ability to stay home and not lose our possessions. I am one of the most blessed people I know.  I am RICH beyond compare in the fact that I have Prince Charming for a husband and a gaggle of brilliant, funny, beautiful, and HAPPY WELL ADJUSTED children.

Anyshizzle, sorry for the rant today.  I just had to share!  As always, I leave you with Love!

That is all!