A Party fit for a Princess in a Pink Tutu

This past weekend we celebrated Belly's birthday.  A fabulous Princess Castle Cake, a few gifts, family and friends, and great food.  It was a smashing good time.  I have pictures to prove it.

Every little girl needs a pretty pink tutu for her 1st Bday Party!

She needs a Princess Castle Cake too!

As I was thinking about how much my little princess enjoyed her party this evening, I kept remembering some things I read on blogs recently.  Moms talking about molding their daughters into this, or into that.  Carving their paths for them.  I remembered reading a blog months ago where one mom talked about not allowing her daughter to have fairy tales of princesses and the like.  Her daughter was going to be Chief Justice after all.  Her daughter was 3.


I remembered how that blog struck me on that day.  I thought perhaps I was just in a surly mood, that I was offended that she would deprive her daughter the imaginary places that I had played when I was little.  I mean, I grew up soon enough and experienced what the world had to offer.  Why was this mom so driven to make sure her daughter was everything she (the mother) wanted her daughter to be?  Yet, so quick to stifle her daughter's little imagination to dream of things that were silly.  Imagine if someone had stamped out JK Rowlings imagination.


I've also been stewing over so many of the posts I've read where moms are passing on their own demons to their daughters.  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?  I mean, we as women want to mold our daughters into what we think they should be?  What we want them to be?  Which obviously would be something more or different than we are, yet, in addition to driving them to this success, we are going to burden them with our demons?  SERIOUSLY?


This bothers me.  What's wrong with just nurturing our children, daughters and sons alike, to be who they are?  Who they are supposed to become instead of what we think they should become.  What we want them to become.  They all come into this world with their own little personalities.  Why is it so difficult to just embrace that personality?  Help that little person grow into who they are in their heart.  


There is enough sadness in this world.  There is enough ugly in this world.  There is damn sure too much hate in this world.  Our babies will experience all of that way too soon for my liking and way too often as they grow up.  It's much easier to take that sadness, hate and ugliness if you are happy.  I want my boys and my daughter to be happy.  Whatever it is they want to be, that thing that brings them joy, deep in their hearts, that's what I want for them.  


If that joy comes from becoming an artist, or musician, I am o.k. with that.  It isn't always a lucrative choice.  They struggle to make ends meet.  However, they do what the love.  What they are passionate about.  What makes their hearts sing.  Don't you wish your heart sang everyday because you were doing what brought you joy?  Wouldn't you want that and more for your child?


Sometimes I think that it's easy to forget what makes us happy, isn't the same as what makes the next person happy.  That's an especially hard concept to grasp when the next person is your child.  We all tell our children they can be anything they want to be.  Do we really mean that?  Or is it just something we say?


The greatest gift my mother ever gave me was the gift of fearlessness.  She gave me this inner strength to just be me.  To love myself regardless of what others thought.  To never fear being told "no."  When I would struggle with trying out for something, or tackling my next accomplishment, she would always say..."What's the worst they can say?  No or hell no, right?"  And she was right.  So what if someone says "No."   What if they say "Yes!"?  If you never try, you'll never know.  Good Lord that woman was smart!  Is smart.  I didn't give her credit for that when I was a shithead teenager.


So...every day I try to encourage my children to be who they are.  I love that Kenna has blossomed into her own woman.  I love the fact that Kamden marches to the beat of his own drummer.  I love that Kooper is exactly like BDC.  A son truly could not be more like his father.  I love that when my step-son Michael is here in my home, he feels comfortable to be himself and let his guard down.  I am learning to love that Belly is stubborn, and strong willed.  *ahem*  I don't know where she gets that!