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A Party fit for a Princess in a Pink Tutu

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

This past weekend we celebrated Belly's birthday.  A fabulous Princess Castle Cake, a few gifts, family and friends, and great food.  It was a smashing good time.  I have pictures to prove it.

Every little girl needs a pretty pink tutu for her 1st Bday Party!

She needs a Princess Castle Cake too!

As I was thinking about how much my little princess enjoyed her party this evening, I kept remembering some things I read on blogs recently.  Moms talking about molding their daughters into this, or into that.  Carving their paths for them.  I remembered reading a blog months ago where one mom talked about not allowing her daughter to have fairy tales of princesses and the like.  Her daughter was going to be Chief Justice after all.  Her daughter was 3.

I remembered how that blog struck me on that day.  I thought perhaps I was just in a surly mood, that I was offended that she would deprive her daughter the imaginary places that I had played when I was little.  I mean, I grew up soon enough and experienced what the world had to offer.  Why was this mom so driven to make sure her daughter was everything she (the mother) wanted her daughter to be?  Yet, so quick to stifle her daughter's little imagination to dream of things that were silly.  Imagine if someone had stamped out JK Rowlings imagination.

I've also been stewing over so many of the posts I've read where moms are passing on their own demons to their daughters.  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?  I mean, we as women want to mold our daughters into what we think they should be?  What we want them to be?  Which obviously would be something more or different than we are, yet, in addition to driving them to this success, we are going to burden them with our demons?  SERIOUSLY?

This bothers me.  What's wrong with just nurturing our children, daughters and sons alike, to be who they are?  Who they are supposed to become instead of what we think they should become.  What we want them to become.  They all come into this world with their own little personalities.  Why is it so difficult to just embrace that personality?  Help that little person grow into who they are in their heart.  

There is enough sadness in this world.  There is enough ugly in this world.  There is damn sure too much hate in this world.  Our babies will experience all of that way too soon for my liking and way too often as they grow up.  It's much easier to take that sadness, hate and ugliness if you are happy.  I want my boys and my daughter to be happy.  Whatever it is they want to be, that thing that brings them joy, deep in their hearts, that's what I want for them.  

If that joy comes from becoming an artist, or musician, I am o.k. with that.  It isn't always a lucrative choice.  They struggle to make ends meet.  However, they do what the love.  What they are passionate about.  What makes their hearts sing.  Don't you wish your heart sang everyday because you were doing what brought you joy?  Wouldn't you want that and more for your child?

Sometimes I think that it's easy to forget what makes us happy, isn't the same as what makes the next person happy.  That's an especially hard concept to grasp when the next person is your child.  We all tell our children they can be anything they want to be.  Do we really mean that?  Or is it just something we say?

The greatest gift my mother ever gave me was the gift of fearlessness.  She gave me this inner strength to just be me.  To love myself regardless of what others thought.  To never fear being told "no."  When I would struggle with trying out for something, or tackling my next accomplishment, she would always say..."What's the worst they can say?  No or hell no, right?"  And she was right.  So what if someone says "No."   What if they say "Yes!"?  If you never try, you'll never know.  Good Lord that woman was smart!  Is smart.  I didn't give her credit for that when I was a shithead teenager.

So...every day I try to encourage my children to be who they are.  I love that Kenna has blossomed into her own woman.  I love the fact that Kamden marches to the beat of his own drummer.  I love that Kooper is exactly like BDC.  A son truly could not be more like his father.  I love that when my step-son Michael is here in my home, he feels comfortable to be himself and let his guard down.  I am learning to love that Belly is stubborn, and strong willed.  *ahem*  I don't know where she gets that!


Kristin said...

Gotta love our stubborn and strong willed girls! I can't believe she is a year old already! Time truly does fly! Kiss her for Auntie K!

Babes Mami said...

My mother limited me and put her problemas on me so I'm raising Babe to be free and do what makes him happy!

Love that tutu!

Jessica said...

I've got one of those strong willed girls myself, she's 9 but the best thing about her is her imagination. Everyday she's going somewhere else, princess, horses, far away fairy tales and it's great to see the imagination she has. My other two kids as well but my strong willed girl has an imagination gone wild. It's fantastic to watch them develop as who they want to be! Loved your post

Angelia said...

You are so right! Sometimes its hard to see that. I push my girls to do well in school and have tried to teach them that college is what you do-not an option. I get so stuck on making sure that they don't repeat my mistakes and in wanting them to do better and 'be' better-that sometimes I forget that maybe that just isn't who they are.

Daffy said...

That tutu is FUNtastic! Lil Duck would've had so much fun singing and celebrating!! She LOVES birthdays!!!!

I just don't understand this politically correct be nice/tolerate everything/everyone please everyone/everything mentality being taken to the extreme these days. I hope to raise Lil Duck to be completely secure in who she is regardless of someone liking her or not. There WILL be people that don't like her and she needs to be okay with that.

And I LOVE that she is so totally into princesses and fairytales right now! Even at 2 1/2 she puts her own ideas and personality into it. She dons her 'spinning' tutu while wearing chucks and carrying around Mater and Lightening McQueen and making motorcycle sounds. She'll tell you she loves mustangs and farting is totally allowed in her kingdom *laugh out loud*

There is kindness in the world; princes and princesses DO exist and I believe that it is the attitude and perspective with which we choose to approach life that decides if we are Cinderella or the miserable StepMother (who encourages *her* daughters to be just like her...jealous and miserable coincidently).

I want to know why no one is bitter or cynical about Seuss. You never see anyone bitching about not having a babysitter like Cat In the Hat.... or the fact that Who Ville doesn't really exist...just a thought....

Shell said...

I can't believe she's already a year old!

I think that you have to encourage creativity and let kids find their own way.

Tiffanee said...

I so agree with you!! I love watching the individual personalities of each of my children. I still love fairy tales!!

Working Mommy said...

Amen Mama!!! You just have to let them be who they are and nurture that instead of try to hold them back!

Feels GREAT to be back :)


Sandra said...

I believe some people refer to that as having an agenda for your child. I agree, this is wrong on so many levels.
Personally, I'm too busy to micromanage my children's futures.
The birthday cake is fabulous as is Belly in her pink tutu!