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PYHO - When your heart isn't in it....

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I'm linking up with my buddy Shell from Things I Can't Say today for Pour Your Heart Out.  The only rule, or prerequisite, or request from our hostess for PYHO is that you be respectful of those sharing.  These posts are heartfelt and if you don't agree, or have something less than nice to say, just move along.  No need to disagree, no need to leave a comment.  Come back tomorrow and we'll still be friends.






I am a very passionate person.  I don't believe that doing things you aren't passionate about makes much sense.  I mean, why bother doing it if you aren't going to give it your all?  Isn't anything worth doing, worth doing well?

The problem with that is, if you are that passionate about everything that you do, it's a travesty when it doesn't work out the way that you planned, or the way you wanted it to.  Well, heck, when does anything work out the way we plan?  Um...I have that answer Zgirl.  NEVER!  O.k...almost never.

When you add to that, the inability to stay focused or on task, yet a passion that burns to the core of your soul, it makes for an ever perpetual state of limbo, so to speak.  On the one hand, you want everything to be perfect, because you are neurotically Type A and a control freak.  On the flip side of that, you are fly by the seat of your pants, spontaneous and approach things with wild abandon because ADD has infiltrated your brain like a mold you just can't seem to get rid of, no matter how much Tilex you huff you try.

So trying to find balance in the Dr. Jekyll vs. Mr. Hyde calamity that is my daily life is often a challenge.  As a mom I often struggle.  Especially given the fact that I have three boys who are also ADD (two of them anyway).  They often want to do things that I struggle to find interesting, let alone things that I can be passionate about.  I mean certainly, I am passionate about being a mom, and being a great mom.  The best, coolest, hippest, funnest mom EVAH.  I am passionate about spending time with them and sharing experiences with them.  Yet, I am not passionate about many of the things we end up doing together.

Thus, I feel like I miss out on some of the fun.  I miss out on some of the "magic" of the moment because it's not as spontaneous, or passionate as I would, in my Type A perfectionist world wish it to be.  I often feel like I am despondent, or have checked out of the activity because I am merely halfheartedly invested in it.

Am I alone?  One woman on an island?  Do you as parents struggle to find balance between what you would do and what you end up doing?

Tell me what you do to find balance Smackers!  Then go visit Shell and pour your heart out!

Think Tank MommaDon't FORGET!  Tie a ribbon around your finger, or put a sticky on the fridge, or set up an alarm and don't forget that tomorrow is Share a Spoon!  We are doing party pleazers and appeteezers!  That's my punny way of saying appetizers Smackers!  Share those party dips, or small bites with us tomorrow!








26 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

I usually find balance by using a scale.

Duh.

Mrsblogalot said...

I haven't found balance yet.

But I'll let you know ....

(-:

Buffee said...

"I smell ice cream"!

I've learned it's best not to give advice, unless you know what you're talking about!

What I do know. . . you're a great mom! You have great kids. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with taking medication!

BigSis said...

I am totally unbalanced and unable to give advice, but I definitely identify with being type A and ADD. It's a crazy combination. At least people know where my son gets his ADHD.

Ian said...

Great post. My post yesterday was all about that too.

Perfectionism to a point is something I strive for. When I blog I want to engage the reader, I want you to comment, I want you to follow if you are new. Why? Why not? Way I see it if you are taking the time to read, I want to make it worth your while.

Same goes for family time. No blogging, no email, no nothing. My heart's in that 100% when it's time for that. I strive to maintain that balance best I can each and every day.

Did I go off topic?

Ed said...

Having friends like you helps keep me balanced.

:)

Shell said...

I can't find the balance. I actually have meltdowns sometimes b/c I can't find it. All that passion overwhelms me sometimes and I don't know what to do with it, so I shut down.

Great post- thanks for linking up!

*LLUVIA* said...

I feel like that all the time! It has to be perfect. Everything that I do.

After I gave birth, I was all about having and doing everything perfectly for Emma. I got on everyone's nerves! My husband used to say that I mixed her formula bottles like a freaking scientist. I stopped because they were making fun of me.

Even if I'm just scrubbing the toilet, it has to be PERFECT. I can never have a cleaning lady in my house. I'm an asshole like that.


I'm waiting for Hubs paycheck to go through and run to the store, so I can buy the stuff for my Ceviche Tostadas...

singedwingangel said...

OH I hear ya hun loud and clear.. I am a walk in the park drive aroudn the lake type of person. They are the jump in the lake and make a fool of yourself kind of person lol..

~J said...

I TOTALLY relate!

Tiffany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tiffany said...

I can totally relate to this post. I'm a perfectionist planner and when things do not go the way I expect. Meltdown! But that WAS me. I learning to forgo the complete plan and go with the flow. I was tired of losing it over something not going "as planned".
I'm still the perfectionist though, hence the reason I will not have the hubs or the kids clean the house. It has to be 'just so".
Balancing life is a juggling act and again it's all give and take. Hang in there, great post!

Babes Mami said...

Some days Babe wants to play peekaboo and hide and seek all day and that gets old.

I can't relate as much because I have an almost one year old but doing the same thing with him day after day does make it where some days mommy doesn't play as much as she thinks she could because one more game of peekaboo is going to cause a homicidal rage.

drollgirl said...

hmmm. this must be REALLY tricky. i am only a perfectionist about a few things in life. the rest of the time i am kind of a slacker. i wish i had some good advice to offer here. sorry!!!

SurferWife said...

First of all, Ed just left you a really kind comment. Wow.

Second. Move over on that island and pass me a rum filled coconut. I am the same way. My husband gets into all of their activities and genuinely enjoys himself.

I don't. And I know it shows and I hate that.

He is the fun parent. :(

Nancy C said...

Oh, yes indeedy I can relate. I find many of the things my kids like...playing tee ball in the heat for hours on end, saying "tractor" fifteen to twenty times a day to my youngest...really, really boring.

I love them, but my mind is elsewhere.

Erin said...

um, I haven't found that balance you speak of either, yet....

There are so many things my girls like to do and I have zero interest. This past weekend hubs took them to see Toy Story 3, and although there were other reasons for it, I stayed home. A lot of it may have to do with my depression, but I just didn't feel like sitting through that movie for/with them. Does that make me a terrible momma? Because I sure feel like shit about it.....

cathyjoy said...

what? you can find balance? where? how much is it? I'll pay anything!!

MiMi said...

I'm with you...but you rock! I don't.
See, you took your kiddo to Eclipse. That makes up for lots of stuff. :)

Gadgerson said...

Chocolate, a Swiss massage and a really good book (preferably one with Scottish Highlanders or Vikings in it). If I can have an hour to myself a day with any or all of those things...then I can take whatever my little demons throw at me.

Adrienne said...

Great post! I can relate to this so much. I want to enjoy my kids. I don't want to miss out on the fun stuff, and I want to build memories with them. But, I don't wan to play video games, or watch the same cartoon over and over. I always feel like the fun stuff has to be this way awesome planned experience. Ugh! This is exhausting, b/c way awesome planned experiences are not happening that often. I wish I could stop and enjoy what they think is fun. Stopping by from Shell's PYHO. :)

Danielle said...

I think that my personality is very much like yours and I love reading your blog cause its like reading a post that I've yet to verbailize which i love,

I strive for balance but I'm pretty sure it will never happen for me, as just when I start to get things in line I find one more thing that I need to get in line (like i often forgetting about the importance of flossing).

Alex said...

I'm just tired of being a mum and would love to just go do something else and not worry about ANYBODY else for a few hours. Just for one day.

* she types as baby scrambles up her legs and does the pity look *

Tracie said...

I'm an all or nothing person, too. That's why my weight goes up and down along with my mood. I don't know what the answer is.

June said...

Pinkus is obsessed with Airsoft and Airsoft guns, wars, having matching team uniforms... Oh yeah, I struggle to take interest in his latest obsession. But do I want to shoot that new airsoft gun at him? Oh Hell Yeah!
Balance - it's a lovely thing that one can only grasp for a few fleeting moments and it's gone again!

gayle said...

I am so Type A but didn't think I had ADD but now I am begining to wonder. I have my blog up, email, facebook, clothes in the dryer, looking at my never ending list and trying to decide what to do???!! I am not a spont. person though. I like things planned and that is something my husband and one of my daughters think I need to work on. It is so hard to find Balance....from what I am reading/learning about you .....You are doing GREAT!!!