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Showing posts with label Munchkins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Munchkins. Show all posts

Think Sweet Sweet Treat

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

It's time for an education lesson for you my loves.  Chocolate.  Mmmm.....sweet nectar of the Gods!  History time.  Who knows it's origin?  I do, cause I'm smart like that.  So here it is, I want my followers all edumacated and I can't have slackers.  Well, at least about important shit like, chocolate, coffee, vampires....what?  Oh, sorry.  I got distracted.

So history of chocolate.  Chocolate was first cultivated and consumed by The Mayans and The Aztecs.  Yeah, and you all thought that North America was The Promised Land.  Nope.  By the year 1000 A.D. the cocoa beans were being used as currency.  The Aztecs were a little screwed up though.  They were drinking undiluted, unsweetened liquor from fermented cocoa beans.  They believed it would bring them wisdom, energy and understanding, and it was reserved for their powerful.  Can you say ick!?

So when Columbus arrived in 1492 he was given some beans.  He took them back to Spain, but he didn't know how to cultivate or ferment them. Shortly thereafter, Cortez showed up in 1519 to conquer Montezuma. The Aztecs, silly as they were, believed he was some Q-something or other guy that was prophesied to return.  Anyhoo, they tried to bribe him with chocolate.  It didn't work, he settled their lands for Spain.  But, he learned how to properly process those precious little cocoa beans.  He took them and the knowledge of how to get that liquor goodness ick back to Spain.

But you just got to love those sexy Spainards.  They make everything sexy.  Including CHOCOLATE.  They added sugar and honey to the bitter liquid goodness, and presto-chango, sweet nectar of the Gods.  They, like those Aztec/Mayan stingy bastards only allowed the upper echelon to partake of the sexy brown liquor!  The Spainards kept that secret at Court for 100 years.

So...now, are you all ready for all that candy on Saturday?  Hmmm?  Ready for chocolatey goodness that you are going to send your kiddos out whoring for?  Oh, don't look at me with such indignation and those glaring eyes over glasses like I just said something so Gawd Awful that you can't believe it.  You know that you end up going through their bags, taking all the pieces of your favorites, and telling them that one looks bad, or whatever other excuse you come up with to steal candy from babies.  They are all lies.  And why do we do it?  I do cause that's what my Dad did.  But hey, he always took us trick or treating.  Nevermind, that when we said we were ready to quit he would make us keep going for say another 30 houses.  Why?  Because he was going to steal our candy!

I had worked out this masterful, and I do mean masterful plan with the kids this year.  I end up throwing so much candy away every year, that when they were having trouble deciding what they wanted to be, I, in a momentary stroke of sheer genius, suggested that they could skip Trick or Treating if they wanted.  Here was the offer:  if you don't get costumes, I will take you to buy your favorite big bag of Halloween candy and then you won't have all the stuff you don't like.  THEY. AGREED.  I was so stoked!  Yeah, that lasted about a week.  They decided they need costumes because they have to dress up for school.  Freaking Public Education.  Damnit!  I kid. Sort of.

Anyway, I did get out of costumes sort of.  We found these great t-shirts at Wal-Mart.  They come with a handkerchief for a mask.  They had pirates, zombies, vampires, and a few others.  The boys wanted the vampire ones.  We have some makeup, fake blood/teeth and white hair spray, and I got it all for like $15.  So, I guess they are going to trunk-or-treat at church and dress up for school.  Happy Halloween you little boogers!

We have this local chocolatier here in North Florida called Peterbrooke Chocolatiers.  They have the best chocolates.  They even make chocolate covered popcorn.  And it is to die for!  I promise.  They had a Spooktacular event  this afternoon that Kooper and Kamden attended.  It was awesome.  They got to learn about the chocolate.  Tour the facility, and best part.  They got to dip cookies, pretzels, etc..in the warm liquid goodness and bring home their creations!  They had a great time.  See their smiling faces below.

Sitting outside before the chocolate dipping began:




And here they are in aprons and hats ready for us to leave already!


And one last pic, they love each other for real!




Well folks, I hope you enjoyed your chocolate lesson as much as the munchkins did!

Keep it sweet, and leave me some love!