GWA Tuesday: Tastes like Chicken

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It's Tuesday!

Ready to adjust some attitudes?A little Gratitude in order?Shall we begin?

Dear Sandman,

Thanks for skipping my house.  You could've dusted the baby lightly night after night, but I appreciate you giving us so much one on one time while everyone else is sleeping.  We have bonded.  So much so that if I put her down to sleep, she screams like a banshee.  So thanks!  Let me know when you'll be stopping by again.  Asshat!

Sincerely pissed,

Sleep deprived Momma

Dear Cat,

Thanks for reminding me that I am a dog person.  I tried to take care of you.  I let you stay here.  Granted this is a dog house, so you had to stay outside.  Sorry dude, I'm allergic AND the Chis were here first.  So I got you some food and a bowl and I fed you.  That wasn't enough for you though was it?  You decided you wanted to be inside like the cools kids dogs. After repeatedly throwing you out, over, and over, and over, and over you did not get the message.  I regret to inform you, that we will be making a trip.  There is a Chinese place right down the street....you know what they say...."tastes like chicken".

Sincerely,

Chihuahua Momma

Dear Prentender,

Thanks for not listening to me when I tried to show you the error of your ways.  I really was trying to save everyone a whole lot of grief.  Yet, you, yes you, the mighty all knowing were obviously right.  It couldn't possibly have been what I said it was.  So instead you got your panties in a wad.  Spun up all those around you.  Made everyone think that I was the bad guy, and now.....YOU HAVE EGG ON YOUR FACE.  Funny little predicament you find yourself in.  Do you still try to be all noble and keep spewing your madness, cause you might have to admit YOU were WRONG?  Or do you apologize?  Hmmm......

Either way...I win.  Thanks for playing.  Oh, and thanks for showing your true colors.

Sincerely,

Taking the High Road

Dear Snarkler Bishes,

Thanks for getting together without me.  You ate, you drank, you were merry.  Without me.  Did I mention.... without MOI?

Sincerely,

Still Pouting

Well, that's it Smackers!  Have a great Tuesday.  Write your attitude adjustments and link up!

Love!

Praying for a Crack Up or Down..

I am seriously disappointed as of late.  Hollywood is letting me down.  Politicians are letting me down.  Athletes got nothin'.  Everyone has been, well....boring.  It's MARCH.  There's been nothing.

The awards shows were, well....boring.  Even the Oscars last night.  While it's noteworthy that the first ever woman director won for directing and Best Picture, it was....well, less than dramatic.  Yeah Sandra Bullock sideswiped Meryl Streep all fabulous looking in that silver gown, and her speech was endearing.  So there again, nothing.  No...oops!  I was in the potty moments.

There's been nothing to blog about.  No EPIC douchebag moments.  Where the hell is Kanye?  Thank goodness we haven't had to deal with the ultimate douchecanoe,  Jon Gosselin.  BUT, his wife ex drama queen is going to grace us with her over sensationalized self on Dancing with the Stars.  Which just goes to prove that there are in fact, no STARS on that show.

Seriously ya'll, my WTF? Wednesday's have been reduced to pictorials.  Which I know you all love, but I want a new Britney.  Where's that trainwreck Lindsey Lohan?  When is Miley Cyrus gonna have her melt down?  Pfffftttt!

The Tiger drama has died down, he's out of rehab.  C'mon athletes.  Somebody step up to the plate and hit a FOUL BALL would ya?

I need some controversy!  Blog fodder please?  Someone?  Anyone?

Stupid celebrities.  One of them has to crack soon!

Let's take a poll.  Who do you want to see CRACK UP or DOWN and OUT?

Where could I be?

Just a quick note....

I am guest posting today.  You can find me over at That One Mom's place.

I posted some H-O-T Australian visuals today.....

Hurry....

Go see....

You're still here?

There's nothing to see.  RUN!

Spring into the New....

It's almost Spring time!  Thank goodness.  This winter has been ridiculous.  Record snow fall.  EVERYWHERE.  Good gravy, it even snowed in TAMPA and MIAMI this year.  That is SOUTH FLORIDA people.  Craziness, I tell you.

So it's time for Old Man Winter to get his shit and get out.  Not that I am looking forward to a heat wave, just that, I am looking forward to people getting back to normal.  Everyone has been pissy.   I think it is because of the weather.  The shut in.  Too cold to play outside.  Too cold to go out, unless you have to.  Everyone has been depressed.  It has been getting even the best of us down.


So, Vernal Equinox....I am throwing you a welcome party!  Let's dance.  I will admit, I haven't always been Spring's biggest fan.  Days get longer (Hello?  Night owl?!?).  Time jumps forward so that I lose an hour. Grrr....  Then there is the whole SPRING CLEANING thing.  Ugh!  We clean all the time.  Spring Cleaning implies that the other three seasons of the year we do a half-assed job cleaning.


I do look forward to the grass being green again.  The early blooms on trees are my favorite.  The crisp air in the morning.  The sunshine peering in the windows.  Spring is beautiful.  


New spring veggies are just the best.  Sweet peas?  Mmmm....
The vegetables just look fabulous this time of year.  I can't wait for all the sweet spring veggies!
Pasta Primavera come to Momma!




What's your favorite part of Spring?  What are you looking forward to?  


BTW - I am guest posting this weekend.  You can find me at That One Mom's place.  The Chronicles of an Only Parent.  I am doing her FEX (Future Ex-Husbands) Post.  It's gonna be Kangaroofic!  C'mon and join me!!

Wordless WTF Wednesday

Happy Hump Day Smackers!

 

  

Um....yeah.  You gonna use one of these?

 

Great gift idea for who?  WTF?

 

Because your hands don't like to go commando?  Are you kidding me?

 

This may be more OMG than WTF?  Ya think?

 

 

Star Wars Geek SUPER FAIL!  WTF?

If you have themes you would like to see for WTF? Wednesday let me know!  Leave it in the love box aka comments!

Happy Wednesday!

GWA: The Sleepless in.....the sticks.

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It's time to whip up our favorite Tuesday recipe for the thankless!   A little Thanks, a FISTFUL of Attitude and if needed, a middle finger!Grab the code.Write your letters.Gratitude with Attitude begins now!

Dear Loser with the Worst Job Ever Door to Door Meat Salesman,

Thank you for knocking on my door to try and persuade me that I need your cheap meat.  Thank you for waking me as I had just finally gotten to sleep after being up most of the night with my newborn.  Thanks for continuing to insist that you have the best deals going when I obviously was not interested.  Surely you didn't think that if you just asked a different way that I would ignore the fact that I said NO. Here's a tip, you know, to keep you out of jail in the future, NO means NO.

Sincerely,

Never gonna buy your frozen crap!

Dear Blind and Brave Bible Thumpers,

Thank you for rapping so loudly at my front door that not only did you wake me up, but you also woke the newborn, I JUST GOT TO SLEEP.  Let's step back a moment and talk about the signs that you obviously missed on your way in my neighborhood.  Did you not see all the signs stating beware of pitbulls?  Did you not see the Confederate Flags flying in every other yard?  Not that I mind that two black women go door to door preaching The Bible, but I couldn't go back to sleep once I told you not interested for fear of your safety.  It just isn't safe out here with all the stupid fucktard inbred  rednecks who don't realize that the South lost in the sticks for you to be preaching door to door.

Sincerely,

Still not interested but Concerned for your safety.

Dear NBC,

Thank you for leaving me with nothing to watch in late night.  ASSHATS?!?  Thank you for reminding me just how much you suck with all the stupid "Get back to where you once belonged" Jay Leno commercials while I was watching The Olympics.  Given that I am up all night these days, it would be nice to see my buddy Conan.  Nothing like rubbing salt in an open wound NBC.

Eff Off,

Still Pissed about your bad programming decision

Well, that's it Smackers.  If you haven't seen me lately, I am around.  I have been visiting here and there.  I leave comments when I can.  I will be back to normal soon....

Love!

Missing In Action Monday

When you bring home your new bundle of joy, this is what you dream of, and picture:

 

Ahhh.....peacefully sleeping and dreaming with the moon.

Dream all you want....this is what you get......

WAHHHHHHHHHH!  No sleeping at night.

So today you can find me here:

 

Don't you fret my Smacker's.  I'll be back tomorrow for GWA!  Be sure to come and play!