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I don' you?

Monday, March 28, 2011

So, I am sitting here watching The Talk on CBS, as I do most afternoons.  Well, I half watch while I am doing other things.  The girls are chatting about Julie Chen being perfect, blah, blah, blah.  Julie relays a cute story about a "fight" she had with her husband.  Silly story and it wasn't a real "fight", but more a funny story about him giving her material for the show.

That's when Leah Remini pipes up and says she had a real fight with Angelo (Remini's husband).  Jenny McCarthy tweeted something about having a pimple, was it a turn off or some such nonsense.  Angelo replied "Not if you're naked", this according to Remini.  She was LIVID.  Like crazy mad.  How inappropriate for him to say something like that to a "girl" friend of hers.

REALLY???  I mean REALLY???????????

I sat and thought about the conversation that they just had.  Chen has said she and her husband don't fight, much to the chagrin of the other ladies.  You know, after all, she is "prefect".  That was the gist of the conversation.  I thought, that isn't that unnatural.  I mean, BDC and I don't fight.  We really don't.  Not ever.  Nine years of marriage and we are still that compatible. 

That is not to say we don't disagree on things.  We do, occasionally, but we don't fight over them.

I know so many women though that would have been just as inflamed and upset if their husbands had made similar comments as Remini's did.  I don't get it though.  Why?  It's such a guy thing to say.  It's also funny.  I mean, it's funny right?

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I think it's deeper than that though.  These are the same women who get upset if their fiancées go to a strip club for their bachelor parties.  These are the same women who freak out if their husbands watch a porno.  These are the same women who check their husbands wallets.  Break into their phones and monitor text messages, emails, FB, etc.

So my question Smackers is this, is it their insecurity that makes them get so mad, crazy jealous and ridiculous?  Are you one of these people?  Do you get crazed over these things?  

I want to understand.  Help me with this one, because I just don't get it.


Andrea (ace1028) said...

Oh, mama, I'm so glad to know someone who is like me. :) Not that we don't fight, because believe me, we've had our fair share, when the passionate anger is there it goes a'flyin' -- BUT, well, a joke about someone being naked or whatever, I mean, whatever? I'm probably in the middle - not perfect by ANY means, but certainly wouldn't have been ticked about that. But I trust my husband. And I have no reason NOT to. But you're right, there are women who don't, and for whatever reason that works for them. I don't judge, but I think [obviously] my way is better. ;) Meaning it's what works for me. I also think guys and girls can be friends, but that's a whole 'nother can-o-worms.

Great post. Loved it. Thanks for the chance to open-heartedly respond!

Anonymous said...

I am sometimes insanely jealous, and yes, it stems from insecurity.
Why am I insecure? Because hubs cheated. And if most of the these girls were to be honest, they are jealous because their men cheated as well. Men make stupid comments like that and it's no big deal, but once he cheats and the trust has been betrayed, there is no tolerance for that stupidity any longer.

Alicia said...

see i'm right in the middle...j and i are like you and bdc...we just don't fight! and if we do disagree about something, its about who put the toilet paper on the wrong way. we just don't fight. but...he's never said a comment about another girl...ever. so i don't know how i'd feel! i'd like to think i'm secure enough that i wouldn't care. i don't think i would at all...i know who's bed he's in every night!! :)

Babes Mami said...

Chris and I do not fight either. We, like you, have disagreements sometimes but we don't fight. I thought we were freaks of nature, at least that's how people make us feel, so that's good to learn that you guys don't either!

Daffy said...

I don't ever want to be in a relationship where that insecurity is present...never again....on either side of the relationship.

Trust is the foundation or there is no relationship. Period. I don't want to have to worry about a silly joke starting a fight. If I want to sit back and joke with the Mr. about the huge tata's on a woman or some chick's body being paradise and I think its time for a vacation (<---heh did ya like that? My popculture exposure for the day)....then by damned I wanna be able to joke about it...yaknow?! Not fight and get all ruffled because I'm not blonde or have big tatas.

I'm definitely and adrienzgirl/BDC kinda couple. Not a freakout OHMYGEEYOUTOTALLYCHECKEDOUTHERASS kinda girl.

blueviolet said...

No, I don't feel the need to get all uptight about everything. You have to let stuff roll off your back sometimes. Life's too short!

middle child said...

I agree with Daffy.

Kristin said...

You know how I roll, momma. I hope to someday find what you and BDC have.

Angelia said...

I totally fight with my husband, not often or anything but its a blow out when we do!

Things like that tweet though, pfft...he IS still a guy! As long as he isn't commenting that he wants to see her naked-I'm not worried. And even then, it would depend on the situation.

I may not be able to trust him to take out the trash, but I can totally trust him to be faithful. That is the one thing I don't worry about.

Oddly though, if another woman had said that to feathers would get a bit ruffled. :P

Michelle Pixie said...

My hubby and I don't fight either. Ten years into it and yes we also have our disagreements but we just don't really fight. So I am in your camp on this, I don't get crazy mad or jealous over things at least not things my hubby says or does...he is my rock!

Mama Zen said...

That seems like an awful lot of drama over a tweet!

GB Girl said...

MB and I don't fight either. We disagree about things, speak our peace respectfully and it's over. Neither one of us likes drama.

Of course, he makes comments about other girls. We both do. It's funny. He knows I'm super insecure about myself and I love that he can make light of it. It helps me get over myself, which is a very good thing.

I get jealous sometimes when TOM is around and the hormones are in full rage mode. However, I trust MB. I love MB. I know that he feels the same and that I have nothing to worry about.

It's nice to know we are in good company. :)

Plus, seriously? Julie Chen is just so obnoxious.

gayle said...

Nope.......we don't fight! Sure disagree but who doesn't.

I thought it was funny too!

Shell said...

Oh, that's so something my husband would have said. LOL

I guess I look more at the intent. Is he saying that to be funny or is he hitting on her? Is he going to a strip club b/c he wants to waste our money on strippers or is he going with a group of guys for someone's bachelor party?

It's all about intent for me. And usually, Hubs is pretty harmless, so it doesn't bother me.