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Spotted Leopards are Carnivorous

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

(Beautiful but deadly.)
I really hate knowing what comes next.  I keep waiting for people to surprise me, but they never do.  People don't change the core of who they are, no more than the proverbial leopard changes their spots.  I have always had the gift of knowing who someone was regardless of what face they choose to put forward.


It's a great gift to have, sort of.  I mean, at least you know right?  At the same time, it sucks.  You can try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but then, you are always in limbo waiting for that shoe to drop.  *sigh*  It sucks. 


Battling with strong willed children is hard enough on it's own.  When you add in two sets of parents, and additional children it's a chore of epic magnitude.  You and your partner agree to parent your children with the ideals, morals and rules that together you think will make a well rounded adult someday.  You do what's best, as best you can and stick together.


Sometimes even amongst yourselves, you can disagree and agree to disagree about how to parent your children.  However, it's a united front, or at least it is at Casa di Romano, in front of the children.  If we disagree, we do it behind closed doors and come to some common ground.


When you have additional parents to weigh in, it's a nightmare.  Even when relationships are civil, or better yet friendly, a disagreement on what's appropriate for your children can quickly turn into a battle of wills.  Throw in a child who is manipulative, and it's full on war.


When the other parents are those parents.  You know those parents who have perfect children, who do nothing wrong ever.  The chore of epic magnitude which was a battle of wills with a strong willed child becomes a war that is rivaled by nothing.  There is no winning.  It's emotional torture.  For the parents.  For the children.  It accomplishes nothing but misery.


And so I struggle.  I struggle to stay afloat in a river of discord.  I struggle to support the partner who is pushing back against the tide.  I pull his head above the water as he tries to give up so that he won't drown and give way to the tide of animosity.


I do it for the man I love.  I do it for the child who doesn't care.  I do it because it's the right thing to do.  I do it because I love them both.  I do it because he's my son too.  I do it because I treat all my children the same, whether I brought them into this world or someone else did.  I do it because I LOVE THEM with every fiber of my being.


I do it because I am stubborn, and I refuse to give up hope that someday, someway, somehow....someone will surprise me.



12 comments:

The Blue Zoo said...

Wow, B. Sounds like you are having a rough time.

Call me if you need to vent. I promise to shut up so you can. =)

Powdered Toast Man said...

Surprise!!!!! You have won an all expenses paid trip to the baha--- what did you say? She isn't the winner? Umm I hate to tell you this but I made a mistake, you didn't win. Sorry for the mix-up.

Sheena said...

Stick in there! When I'm having rough times my hubby sings the song (he's not good at singing) "it won't be like this for long"... It's a country song. And I find it rather true. When in the moment it seems like eternity, looking back it went quick! :) Baking something yummy... That always helps me.... Maybe that's why I have gained a few this holiday season! Oops.

Danielle said...

Hang in there. It sounds like you are doing the right thinks for the right reasons. *hugs*

BigSis said...

So sorry for what you are going through. You are a good mom and I know you'll do the right thing, no matter how hard it is. I'll think happy thoughts for you and pray that maybe, just once, someone will surprise you in a good way.

Babes Mami said...

Sounds like you need my good thoughts and love...you got them!

Diary of a Diva Mom said...

As a "step" kid, I can tell you that I am SO happy that my step mother chimed in and was a full time parent with me. I think your doing the right thing by being there for your kids, and it shows what kind of mother you are step or real and I admire that.

gayle said...

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. Raising kids is hard enough with 2 parents. You are a wonderful mom and your kids are so lucky to have you!

Shell said...

Hang in there, mama. Love you.

Daffy said...

I will never understand...

I can only imagine how much harder things would be for the child were they to not know your love...not see your example...and not feel your presence pressing into their life. You do make a difference, you do make an impression...

Big hugs!

Michelle Pixie said...

I am with Daffy as I don't understand. But I do have so much admiration for you and the example you are giving your children. You are an amazing Momma! {{{HUGS}}}

That One Mom said...

I'm with Daff on that one. She always knows exactly what to say.

*sigh*

Love you long time! Having you by his side will make all the difference to BDC and all of your children!